Lost Gods
by Fayrwyn
Summary: The gods have left Middle-Earth, the elves wish to join their creators across the seas, little do they know that the gods remain.With powerful souls and wills to survive, the gods have been searching for one another- for their lovers, for their families.But some souls are too powerful for the bodies of flesh, tearing a hole in the fabric that separates magic and dreams.
1. The Wild Boy

Kili was an energetic child, always had energy to spare. He was usually a blur of brown hair and blue tunic as he flitted from person to person, room to room. He never sat still for his hair to be brushed, or his meals, least of all his lessons. It took more than his mother and father to reign him in. Dwalin, Balin and even Thorin had to grab up the little boy by the back of his clothes as his legs continued to kick out as if that alone could get him to continue on in his current quest of doing whatever the little boy had put his mind to.

It became a mutual agreement that he was much too uncontrollable to teach for longer than ten minutes out of an hour simply because the boy was "too busy". He had too much curiosity for his own good. This worried every adult that came across him, automatically enlisting them to shadow him so that he would not hurt himself.

Kili did not listen well. It was the nature of children. So when he was upset he was more than glad to be extra recalcitrant. He would do things that he **knew** that he should not. Which had lead to the unfortunate accident of hot metal getting on his uncle one day in the forge.

Thorin had a strange swagger after he healed, it wasn't a lot but it was enough for the little boy to notice. He also held things looser with his left hand too.

Kili cried a lot that year.

From then on he stayed away from the forges and started to play out in the open fields and woods, slipping past any adult that may see him. He didn't have much fun with the dwarven children his age. They always were too focused on trying to learn how to grow a big beard or learning a craft. Kili was more curious about the things around him. Like the plants. Oh he loved plants. He loved dirt! No, he adored dirt! He rolled in it, threw it around and when it was too rocky he spent long hours tilling in straw and worms and everything he could think of to make the dirt fluffy and happy. No one told him that the reason why the dwarves allowed him this was because whenever he "played" like that the next year the crops grew very well.

Then one strange day he came home not so completely covered in mud. His smile was as bright as the sun and he was so very, very happy.

"What has you so pleased?" Dwalin asked as Kili climbed up in a chair between him and Thorin.

"I have a friend."

"Oh?"

"Yes!" Kili cried out in joy flinging his arms up only to get a few dirt clods on Dwalin and Thorin.

Thorin carelessly brushed the dirt flecks off of his sleeve, his scarred hand showing since he did not have a bracer on and his sleeves rolled up. "What is your friend's name?"

"I don't know." Kili said. He looked around before finding a pitcher of water and was reaching for it.

Thorin took the pitcher and poured a cup for Kili who took it and drank it sloppily spilling a lot of it onto his shirt. "Girl or boy?"

"I don't know."

"What do they look like then?" Thorin smirked pretty sure Kili had concocted an imaginary friend. He didn't find any fault in it, every child had one at some point. Even he did when he was a dwarfling.

"Big hair! It's all gold and has blue eyes like yours!"

"Like mine?" Thorin grabbed a twig from Kili's hair.

"Yeah!"

"Are you going to play with your friend tomorrow?"

"I hope so."

The next day Kili came to the door of the forge. He didn't come in, fearful he might hurt his uncle again, and talked and talked and talked, about all the things he did with his friend until Thorin was done and they walked home together. It became a regular thing to do soon enough. Kili really liked his friend and even more liked how his friend had a secret that he swore he would tell no one.

Then one day Kili came running to the forge much earlier than Thorin had been used to.

"Uncle Thorin!" He shouted.

Thorin's hammer stilled. When helping raise a child one always knew the signs of trouble. The certain pitches of their voice, or the sudden quiet. This was definitely a scared pitch.

"He's hurt!"

"Who's hurt?" Thorin threw the hot metal into a vat of water, not caring if the metal broke, just as long as it didn't burn down the forge.

"My friend! He's hurt!"

The king under the mountain frowned as he went to the door where his bad hand was grabbed and he was tugged along. "Hurry! Hurry!"

This imaginary friend... wasn't so imaginary.

When Kili took Thorin over to the forest a good distance from the houses he was met with a blond child curled up and in pain. Kili let go of Thorin's hand and ran to his friend's side, the blond growling, teeth bared like an animal. But Kili just stroked his long hair. Thorin could see the naked genitalia of the boy making him wonder why he had no clothing, not even small clothes. But affirmed that Kili was either too busy to bother himself with identifying gender just yet or he didn't care.

"It's okay, Uncle Thorin is the best. You'll be okay."

The blond looked to Kili with unsure eyes then instantly curled up against Kili's side pulling his bad leg away from Thorin when the adult tried to move.

A feral child it would seem. Thorin had only heard stories of them, abandoned in hopes that the elements would claim their precious lives and by the looks of it the boy was dwarven. It hurt Thorin's heart to even fathom someone would toss their babe out, but more so since dwarven children were so rare.

The king reached forward, giving soothing sounds as he lowered the child's knee so that he could look at the other leg. It was bloodied, swelling and slightly purple. He must have broken it rather badly.

"What were you two doing?" Thorin kept his voice soft more for the strange child's benefit than for Kili's.

"We were climbing the trees and he fell." Kili sounded ashamed.

"We'll take him to the healers." Thorin shrugged off his top tunic.

He went to pull it around the boy's naked form when the blond shot forward and bit down, hard, on the web of Thorin's thumb. The king growled a little but did not move even when beads of red welled up around the child's lips. The kid had some very sharp teeth.

"No! Don't bite him!" Kili pulled on his friend, when that didn't release he wiggled his finger into the boy's mouth somehow and pressed down on his tongue. Like an animal the boy opened his jaw wide and moved his head trying to get Kili to let go. "I said he's here to help! No biting!"

"It's okay Kili." Thorin finished wrapping the tunic around the boy. "He's scared."

"Scared or not he should not have bit you! Bad kitty!" Kili flicked his friend's nose who looked at him rather hurt. Kili just frowned. "Be nice to Thorin or I won't play with you!"

The boy wrinkled his nose before burying his face into Kili's neck as an apology. Kili sighed heavily and hugged his friend looking older than the small child he really was. Thorin smiled, he had never seen Kili so attached to something or someone before. It was... nice.

"Come, we need to get him to the healers." Thorin very gently picked up the blond child. He sat the boy on his hip and started to walk slowly as to not jostle the boy's leg. Kili grabbed Thorin's good hand as they walked back towards the village they were staying in.

"He doesn't talk, will the healers be okay with that?" Kili asked innocently. The healers always made him talk about how he got hurt whenever he was brought there.

"They won't have a choice but to accept it." Thorin offered Kili a smile. "Do you know if he has any family?"

Brown hair tossed around as the boy shook his head, "No, only him."

"And he does not talk... so he has no name."

"Not that I know of."

"Then we'll name him Fili."

Kili wrinkled his nose. "Fili? Why Fili?"

"The -Fi- for being fierce, and -li- after the boy who is his best friend."

Kili jumped in his steps, "That's me!"

Thorin smiled fully. "Yes, that is you."

After they took Fili to the healers they found out that the boy was actually older than Kili, though only by a few years. He was healthy enough if not in need for a more balanced diet and a good washing. While his leg was being splinted and Thorin was paying the healers for their services they asked, "Who's child is this?"

Thorin did not hesitate, "My own."

"Then why does he not speak and only makes noises? And why does he have no clothing?"

"That is none of your concern." Which, by all means, it really wasn't.

Soon he gathered Fili up to his hip once more, making sure he was fully covered with cloth and walked down to the markets with Kili close at his side. He bought Fili many clothes and a few boots, having to indulge Kili in a few new things as well as the boy grew jealous over the attention he was not receiving. Finally the ended up at the food stalls where Fili's nose twisted and twitched with all the different smells. He reached out a little hand snagging up sausages and raw cuts of meat and even a few fish that Thorin was forced to pay for after he pried the raw meats out of the child's mouth. He gave some coins to Kili and had the boy run off to get something sweet. When he came back, Thorin had to awkwardly lean down for Kili to hand Fili a sweet bread because he couldn't pick up Kili with his full arms and Kili refused to let Thorin hand it to Fili.

Fili was cautious over it but messily stuck the bread that was covered in honey and seasonal nuts into his mouth. While he chewed he drooled a bit sending a mess over Thorin's hair and his own. Neither seemed to care.

Fili was getting used to this idea of touch, of being warm and given food without having to fight for it.

Thorin was feeling blessed. He had a child of his own now and he would raise him well.


	2. He's My Son

Thorin had to take a lot of time away from the forge in order to properly care for Fili. His golden maned son did not like being left alone locked in a house with his broken leg. He did not like wearing clothing. He hated having to wait for meals to be cooked and only ate half of the fruits and vegetables that Thorin provided him and that was only after Kili would come over and show him that it was okay to eat such things. He was blessed though, that Fili was a smart lad. He quickly caught on to the potty training concept. He did like bathing and didn't try to eat the soap after being told once.

Each day Thorin would give Fili positive touches on his shoulders, head and back, showing him that he was cared for. He would make an array of sounds encouraging the boy to mimic him. Sometimes it would end with Thorin having to pull a funny face which would earn him a smile and a few times a tiny laugh. Though the laugh always sounded weird as if the boy did not know what noise he was making.

By the time Fili's leg was healed he could speak and understand things fairly well. Kili was coming over every day and spending every night allowed by his parents to stay. On those nights Kili would curl up against Thorin's side and clutch tight to his beloved uncle while Fili wiggled around in furs trying to get comfortable. Eventually he came to the conclusion that Thorin's hair was the best fur to have so he would curl up around his father's head with the black hair draped over his tiny body. In the mornings Fili would say very few words to Thorin and would stay indoors with Kili who would try to help Fili get better at talking.

Then one morning, when Thorin had just closed the door to his little home he found Dis walking up with Kili holding onto her hand. The cold autumn air crip causing their breath to puff out in white clouds.

"Dis," Thorin pulled his sister into his arms. "You've put on weight."

She snorted. "No thanks to Vili. He keeps insisting I'm pregnant and feeding me more when I'm not."

"Good for him. A dwarrowdam should never be as thin as a human maiden." Thorin wrinkled his nose in disgust. Those women always looked unhealthy, like if they missed one meal they would fall over dead. Frailty was not something to be attracted to, at least, for him.

"Says you and most men, but you'd be surprised what dwarrowdams are told these days to make them believe that if they can't fit into a screw hole how undesirable they are."

"That's stupid." Thorin and Kili said at the same time causing Dis to laugh.

Thorin cleared his throat, silently berating himself for sounding like his tiny nephew. "What brings you here?"

"Well, I thought it was time I saw for myself this boy you have taken in. Word has it that you do not even call him your ward but your son."

"Mahal gifted him to me. Why would I not take him in as my son?" Thorin frowned. He didn't like the amusement in his sister's tone.

"I'm not saying anything of it brother, but I always thought you would die alone with no family to love you."

"Funny, I thought the same about you." He turned and opened his door, "Fili, come here."

"Yes?" Fili came up, favoring his other leg as his healed one still protested at times.

Thorin ran his hand over the back of Fili's head, "Say hello to your aunt, Kili's mother."

He looked to Dis, tilting his head. He wasn't sure what an aunt was or a mother. But he knew one thing, he didn't like her. He grabbed onto Thorin's pant leg with one hand, the other grabbed Kili's hand and yanked him close. He visibly curled his lip into a snarl and growled.

"Fili. What is the matter?" Thorin asked.

"W...where did you find him?"

The king looked to his sister. He was very confused, she looked struck, barely able to stand on her own two feet. Her eyes were wide and her breath was panting as she swallowed hard.

"In the forest-"

"Kili get away from him." Dis grabbed Kili's arm, pulling on him hard.

Kili gave a scream between protest and pain. Fili held onto the brunette, his hand swiping out leaving clawed marks through the thick material of her tunic.

"Foul thing," She spat, her hand snapping across Fili's cheek.

She was suddenly grabbed. Thorin had a fist full of her cloak, he pulled Kili away from her and shouted in a stern voice, "Fili, Kili, inside now!"

The two boys scuttled in quickly, Fili angry, Kili scared. Once they were inside Fili took Kili to a little spot between some creates and furs. They wiggled into the small space, hiding away from the shouts outside that caused Kili to wince. Fili only held him tight, his eyes sharp and protective.

"You struck my child." Thorin shoved his sister. If he didn't care about her he would have run her through by now.

"You don't understand!"

"No, you don't understand! He is mine and whatever you believe to justify your action is-"

"He's my first born!"

Thorin bared his teeth, "He was not harming Kili and he never would."

"Thorin! Fili is my first born!" Dis hissed.

"You lie. You had a miscarriage."

"Do I? Look at his face, look at his eyes, shaped and colored like mine and Vili's."

Thorin's brow came together. He felt a heaviness settle over his stomach. It was inevitable, their father went mad with grief, their grandfather had been sick in the mind. It ran in the family, one of them was to become ill.

"Go home Dis."

"Not without my son."

"You will not have Kili back."

Dis staggered on her feet. "What? You cannot-"

Thorin shouted now, loud and booming not caring who looked to him. "I will not endanger a child when you are not well!"

"You think I am mad?!" She pulled on the cuts on her sleeve. "Look what your beast did! Listen to me Thorin!"

"LEAVE!"

"No!"

"Then I shall remove you."

Thorin grabbed her by her wrists, she screamed for his son. Kicked at Thorin yelling for Kili's safety. Each kick, each yank in her struggle, every shout, it hurt Thorin. It was all too much like their father and grandfather, all too familiar. He would not let Fili and Kili be exposed to this, not like how he had been. They were much too young.

Eventually Dis became too much for Thorin to restrain, he had to enlist some help from a few dwarves that lived in the small village. A merry man that brought much of his ore by the name of Bofur and a friend of Balin's named Dori helped haul Dis to the healers where she was administered herbs that forced her to sleep. The three men took her back to her house where they put her to bed. Bofur ran off to find Vili while Dori quickly left to find Balin upon Thorin's request.

Thorin sat beside his sister and took her hand and held it tight. "I swear to you, I shall keep the children safe until you are well."

He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand as she slept. He felt crushed under the memories of his forefathers, of their madness that had infected his dear sister. And as she slept he tried to push the memories of her screams aside for ones of her running through Erebor with her chocolate brown hair trailing behind her as their father and mother tried to chase her down to give her a proper grooming. He tried to remember how she looked when she first started to lose her baby teeth. How she would pull on Frerin's hair when he would steal her practice bow.

"Thorin?"

He looked up finding Balin and Vili. He swallowed hard, taking a deep breath through his nose.

"What happened?" Vili asked still covered in the dust of the mines.

"She came to visit, to see my son for the first time and she..." Thorin put Dis' hand down and stood up allowing Vili to take his seat. "She struck him and acted with madness..."

The room fell silent. There was no secret to the insanity that plagued the line of Durin. They had just hoped the younger generations would be strong enough to not fall prey to it.

"Are the children safe?" Balin placed a hand on Thorin's shoulder.

"Yes. I... Vili, I do not think it safe for Kili to stay here."

Vili ran a dirty hand through his hair as he sighed. Since the miscarriage of their first child he had feared this day. "Please keep him. I would like to see him often though."

"Of course brother." Thorin patted Vili on the back. "Balin... I would ask of you to keep with her as you have the same experience as I with this. Unfortunately-"

"The children come first." Balin nodded. "Go to them, we shall take care of Dis."

Thorin gave his apologies and left.

The way back home seemed to have taken longer than before. His limbs feeling heavy and his eyes dry with the need to shed tears. With each step he took he silently prayed, not for him, not for Dis, but for Kili. If the madness could reach Kili's mother, who was so strong and full of life, it could reach the boy. He prayed over and over again to anything that could hear his thoughts that the child would never be touched by it.

When the king got home he opened the door only to have something slam into him. The weight and velocity sending him to the floor. It bit down hard. He shouted as a claw caught him in the chest. He raised his arm, the batting claw catching in his leather bracer.

"NO! FILI NO!"

Thorin pushed the creature off, Kili managed to scoot it back away from Thorin enough to wrap his arms around the neck of a large cat. Thorin was up on his elbows, eyes wide as he watched Kili stroke a golden lion cub. He nuzzled it softly.

"It's okay Fili, it's your daddy. He won't hurt you."

The startling blue eyes softened, the cub's body tensed. Thorin watched, all thought left him as skin twisted, bones popped and snapped. Fur was replaced with hair and before him was a shaking, naked, little boy. His little boy.

Scared blue eyes looked up to him. A tiny frightened voice reached his ears, "Udâd."


	3. So Young

Thorin... Thorin didn't know what to do. His body was automatic as he picked himself up off of the floor. He found a change of clothes that he dressed Fili in. And when the boy tried to grab at him he pushed him away gently. He set a kettle over the fire and sat in silence.

He didn't know what he had just witnessed. It was something out of a fairytale. It was something that didn't happen, not even in the heavy magic known to this world. The changing of the body did not happen not without a very dark power to be the cause, but Fili, he was a child. He looked down at his hands as he waited for the kettle to boil and saw the slight tremble in his left hand. Fili was no beast... right?

"Udâd," Fili tried to gain his father's attention.

"Fili, it's okay." Kili stroked Fili's soft hair.

Fili gave a whine in the back of his throat. "Udâd."

Nothing.

He reached out, his little hand grabbing blue tunic. He yanked and pulled. "Udâd. Udâd. Udâd!" His chest started to puff up and down rapidly as something hurt deep inside. Why was Thorin ignoring him? Why did he not touch him on his head? Fili didn't understand. What did he do wrong? He was only trying to protect Kili from the nasty woman and he didn't mean to hurt Thorin. Surely his father would see that.

"Kili. Take Fili to bed. It's time for your nap." Thorin said softly.

Kili hugged Fili's arm and pulled him over to the door that lead to the bedroom in the small hut. He took Fili to the bed where he got up onto the edge and took off his boots. He watched Fili pace around the closed door, touching the wood in gentle clawing motions.

"Fili." Kili climbed down. "Fili it'll be okay."

"I hurt him..." Fili swallowed, his voice thick.

"You didn't mean to."

"I... how do I..." Fili wasn't sure what the words were.

"You say you are sorry."

"Sorry?"

"It means... um..." Kili scratched his messy hair. How to explain, how to explain... "... You did not mean to."

"You are sorry..."

"No, you want to say 'I am sorry.' But you want to say it when he is feeling better or he won't hear you." Kili took Fili's hand and pulled him over to the bed. He climbed back on and scooted over to the far side, pulling back furs, "Right now we do what we are told."

"Why? Should we not sorry now?"

"Apologize now?" Kili looked at the blond as if he was crazy. "I've gotten into a lot of trouble, you never say you're sorry right away. They never hear it."

Fili got up onto the bed and slipped under the furs next to the brunette. "Why?"

"I don't know." Kili rolled onto his side and wrapped himself around Fili's side. Despite what he said earlier about how everything was going to be okay, he was worried. He had never seen his mother like that. Never seen his uncle shut down either. He hugged Fili tighter in the silence in the room. If he was honest with himself, he was scared. He didn't want them to take Fili away.

* * *

Thorin remained quiet for many days afterwards. He did not touch Fili nor Kili, deep in thought. Several nights he fell asleep in his chair next to the fire. Vili came over a couple of times. He was sweet to Fili and even more so on Kili before he would leave to either go back to work or go home to be with Dis who continued to rave over how Kili was in danger.

Late one night Thorin woke up to the fire dying. It was very cold as freezing rain pelted against the sides of his home, cold enough for him to see his breath. Two balls rested on him, shivering. The children whimpered in their sleep and one gave a terrible sounding cough. He got up, waking Fili who gave a small cry being taken from the warmth of his father's chest.

"Stay." Thorin said sternly patting Fili on the head.

He threw on a few more logs to the fire. Slipping into the bedroom he grabbed the straw packed mattress and pulled it off of the frame it had been roped to. A trail of pillows and furs followed him as he pulled the mattress into the main room of the hut. He laid it close to the fire, only enough so that embers would not fly out and catch the mattress on fire. Thorin went back gathering the pillows and furs, brought them back and laid them over the bed. He picked up Kili and tucked him in. Before he could do the same with Fili his pant leg was grabbed hard with one hand, the other small hand gripped a few of his fingers and placed his palm on a tangle of golden locks.

When was the last time he brushed Fili's hair?

He looked at Fili seeing his blue eyes look up at Thorin with fear and pain. His bottom lip pushed out and his chin wrinkled. Thorin's heart broke.

What had he been doing?

Neglecting his son.

Fili was a strange thing, but he had never hurt Kili showing that his nature was good at heart. He was a small thing and... and if Thorin taught him how to control himself then he was no harm to anyone but his enemies.

He felt such the fool.

"I am sorry, Thorin." Fili managed to say. Big tears started to roll down round cheeks as the boy shook trying not to be loud and wake up Kili.

Thorin knelt down. His hands stroking Fili's head and shoulders. It hurt so bad to see the child in such a state.

"Do not call me that. I am your udâd," Thorin took Fili to his chest, the pull of scabs ignored as the lion child clutched onto him. "I am sorry."

That night Thorin slept on a mattress on the floor with Fili on his chest and Kili held to his side. It was the best sleep he had in a very long time.

In the morning he woke up to a strange sensation. Something wet and raspy was brushing against his chest. It tickled more than anything. He cracked open his eyes to find very blue, very distinct, feral eyes looking at him. He stiffened as he watched Fili with his dwarven face drag a very lion like tongue over the now opened scratches on his chest. Thorin didn't make any movements until he could think.

Fili was on top of him with eyes and tongue of a cat. What little he could see of the teeth they were somewhere between lion and dwarven. His small hands had clawed tips and were only holding open his tunic enough for the child to get to his wound. He looked to his side where Kili still slept, then back to Fili. It was at that moment it registered to Thorin what Fili was doing.

He was cleaning the wounds the best he knew how.

Thorin moved to get Fili off only to have the boy growl at him. Obviously he was not done with his nursing. So Thorin put his hand on the boy's back and gave a sigh. He would allow it this one time, they had just started to patch back up the father son relationship he managed to nearly destroy. Plus it would give him time to think of how to deal with Fili when he was like this... actually... now that he thought about it.

He nudged Kili awake. "Kili. Kili?"

The youth groaned, rubbing at his eye. "wha?"

"How do I get him to stop?" Thorin asked.

Kili blinked a few times, his vision coming to focus on what was happening. "You let him clean it."

"Just let him..."

Kili reached over and scratched at Fili's head completely fearless. "He's a good kitty. He cleaned me before."

"That is of no surprise."

Resigned, Thorin closed his eyes. This was certainly a strange morning. It would not be his last.


	4. Deceit

Fili wasn't sure about Dori. He was weird and had the funniest beard and hair. He was fussy and something that Thorin called a "mother hen". But when Dori came over while Thorin left he always brought someone that Fili liked.

He liked Ori.

Ori had frizzy hair and it was strange to the touch like fur and straw mixed together. It was really red too. He had never seen red hair before. He was distinctly smaller than Fili as well. Fili really liked picking up Ori and carrying him around the house despite how much Ori complained. Eventually Ori gave up entirely and allowed Fili to carry him from spot to spot between the lessons that Dori gave all three of the little ones.

While Kili couldn't sit still, Ori always was still unless he was writing in a large book as big as his lap, and Fili... Fili was trying to understand everything. He got lessons on gods, of dwarven history, reading and writing, math, rhetoric, and even some days he was given a knife and a piece of wood to work with. When that first happened he had no idea what to do with the knife and sat for a very long time looking at it and the piece of wood in his other hand. It wasn't until Kili and Ori showed him what he was supposed to do, while Dori fixed them a lunch, that he was slowly starting to understand.

It was well into the winter when Dori decided that it was best to give the children their first lesson on how to handle markets. They each had an assignment of what to get and a little bit of money.

"Now what are you to get?" Dori tightened the cloak around Kili's neck, smoothing out the material so it kept him nice and warm.

"A... a... um..." he huffed a breath out. Really he wanted to get sweets but Dori promised cake if he did this right and he hadn't had cake since Durin's Day. "A pound of... beef?"

Dori smiled. "Exactly. For what price?"

"Two bits, but four if they will not go down."

Dori grinned. "Good lad. Now, Fili, what are you to get?"

The blond tilted his head in thought. He barely understood money but that was the point of this lesson so he was careful in paying attention. "A pot of ink."

"For how much?"

"Three bits."

"Or?"

"They will take the three bits or I will not purchase."

Dori laughed. "Good on you lad. Good on you. Now, Ori, no quills this time. What are you to get?"

Ori frowned. He wanted his quills. "Loaf of bread."

"For how much?"

"One bit or two."

Dori hugged his little brother who groaned. He got up onto his feet from where he was kneeling and opened up the door. "Remember to stay with each other. If you have any trouble you come to me. I won't be far."

All three coursed their agreement and hurried down the small hill with Dori following.

Their little boots slopped in the mud and snow. When Ori nearly fell in a large puddle Fili had grabbed him and carried him until many of the waggon ruts in the small road were filled in with dirt and not freezing water. He didn't see how Kili frowned, or his hands tightening in fists inside his cloak.

Fili's nose twitched a little. The market smelled different from when he was first there when Thorin first became his papa. It smelled dirtier. He sneezed a few times but the smell would not get out of his nose. He wiped his nose with his sleeve and that helped a little. The people that walked around smelled of either heavy soaps or were very dirty and it made him blanch. Some would laugh and just talk, others frowned heavily while making purchases, a few he saw were pressing their faces together.

"What are they doing?" Fili asked.

"Kissing." Ori said while he buried his cold nose into his scarf. At Fili's confused expression Ori pointed to a sweet looking couple that had just shared their public kiss. "Dori says that if you kiss like that you have to get married to that person because you love them more than anything."

"Mmmmarried?" Fili rolled the word over his tongue. It was weird to say.

"Yes, so they can become mommies and daddies."

Fili didn't understand anything about that but he did understand what Ori had said earlier. "What other kinds of kisses are there?"

"Dori kisses my cheek to say he loves me as his brother. Nori kisses my head to say it. I have seen some adults kiss because they are 'just friends'." Ori scratched around the wool scarf that was starting to chaif. "I think there are other kinds but I don't know them."

"Friends kiss?"

"I think so. Like this." Ori pushed his scarf down and pressed his lips against Fili's very quickly.

There were a few people that made a cooing sound that pulled the two children's attention from their conversation. Fili grabbed Ori's hand and pulled him deeper into the market. Adults were weird.

It wasn't until they were done that they had noticed that Kili was not with them. Fili started to panic. He called out Kili's name a few times only to get no reply. He remembered what Dori said, if there was trouble to go to him. Quickly he hurried around trying to find one dwarf in a sea of others. In the end it was Ori who found Dori who had a very upset Kili holding onto his leg.

"There you two are. An how did you fair?" Dori asked trying to resist removing Kili's death grip on his leg.

"We got everything you said, but the baker wouldn't take less than two bits for the loaf. And Fili got the pot of ink for three bits like you said to." Ori said as he took Dori's hand, the loaf of bread held to his chest.

"Good, now lets go back and have some lunch and cake. You all did very well."

Kili did not eat his cake. He did not touch his lunch. He only slumped in his chair with his arms folded over his chest with a fierce scowl. He ignored everyone around him until finally he had enough and stomped into the bedroom and slammed the door.

He didn't like winter. He didn't like Dori's lessons. He didn't like Ori. He didn't like Fili. Especially when Fili and Ori run around together. Fili was his friend, not Ori's!

He continued to fume alone until Thorin came home with Vili. When Vili came into the room he hugged his father tight and cried, "I want to go home!"

Vili shared a confused look with Thorin as the brunette finally broke down and cried. Fili tried to reach up for Kili but Kili only screamed a "No!" and buried his face into his father's beard. This in turn caused Fili to start crying.

Thorin took Fili's hand, pulling him away and closed the door.

"No! Kili!" Fili shouted.

"Shh, shh," Thorin stroked Fili's hair. "Fili, tell me what happened today. Do you know what might have upset Kili?"

"No." He wiped at his nose with his sleeve once more. "We had lessons on how to buy from the market today. Me and Ori had fun... but Kili stayed with Dori."

"Ah." Thorin smiled softly. It didn't take much to figure out that Kili was jealous. He had been slowly getting increasingly jealous over Fili's attention being directed to someone else. "Do not worry, urazad. He is worried that you have replaced him with Ori."

Fili's eyes became huge. "No, no!"

"I know, I know." Thorin soothed. "But Kili must realize this on his own. You must remember though, when you have more than one friend you must give them equal attention or the other will become jealous."

Fili huffed and grabbed onto his father. Things were easier to understand in the wild.

* * *

Vili tried to calm his crying boy.

"Gimlel, what's wrong?" He tried to ask between gasps and chokes of the youth.

"I wanna see mama."

"Mama's not well yet."

"I don't care! I wanna see mama!" Kili screamed so loud it caused Vili to wince.

"You can't."

Kili's only reply was an ear piercing screech that Vili was positive would make it hard for him to hear for the next couple of years.

"Fine!" He managed to yell over his son.

When the scream stopped his shook his head at the disorientation that such a tiny thing could cause. He had a whole new respect for single parents as he could pass his child off to his brother-in-law or to his wife. But he was pretty certain most children were not the living terror that was Kili.

Vili put Kili down, "Get your boots."

He followed his son out of the room. He sighed when Fili tried to approach Kili but the boy only pulled away with a deep frown.

"Even childhood is complicated," Vili sighed.

"So it would seem. Fili's been becoming friends with Ori."

"Jealousy of the Durins is a hard thing to take." Vili chuckled remembering when Dis first planted her fist into his gut because she thought that he was even tempted to see another woman. "Listen, Thorin... You know that I appreciate all you are doing for Kili and Dis."

"You're taking him to see her?" Thorin's shoulders squared off. He knew his brother-in-law long enough to know when he was skirting around a subject. "Is she well enough?"

"She... is getting better."

"Then he stays here."

"Thorin, I think it would do them both good." Vili reasoned. "I will personally watch over them, Balin will be there too."

Thorin swallowed around the hard lump in his throat. He didn't like it. Something itched at him from under his skin. He shook his head. "No."

"They both need this. It has been months, they are both still child and mother. Perhaps it is the medicine Dis needs."

There was a long silence only filled with the sounds of Kili trying to avoid Fili. "He does not stay the night."

Vili smiled. "Thank you."

* * *

When Vili took Kili back home he found his wife in the kitchen. Balin peeled a potato with a knife not far away.

"Darling?"

"Hm?" She didn't turn around from the pot she stirred.

"We have a guest tonight."

"We do? Well I wish you would have said so... sooner..." Dis had turned around, her eyes falling onto the form of her son.

Her knees hit hard on the floor, her arms outstretched as her little boy ran up. She clutched him tight crushing him against her breasts.

"Oh my baby, my gimlel." She pulled back enough to look at his little hands and his lovely little face. She showered him with kisses and hugs, not once willing to let him go fully. She shook with relief. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, mama." Kili buried his face into her shoulder, their same colored hair blending together making it so one could not tell where one began and where one ended.

That evening Vili took over cooking with Balin helping while Dis sat at the table with her son on her lap. She combed his hair for well over a half hour. She kissed his chubby cheeks and whispered how much she loved him. But while she whispered words of love she slipped poison into his ear.

"I love you so much. Only mama could ever love you this much." She cooed low enough for her husband and Balin to not hear.

"But papa loves me too, and so does uncle Thorin."

"Well yes, but they don't understand what true love is. True love is to keep the one and only dwarf that matters to you out of harms way at all costs."

"But I'm not going to be hurt." Kili was getting confused. Mama never lied to him, but he knew that papa and Thorin loved him. "Uncle Thorin takes good care of me and Fili protects me. But he's being stupid and likes Ori more than me."

"That's because he's a wicked thing." Dis said softly.

That didn't sound right. "No, he's not."

"Yes he is." She kissed his temple as she saw her opening. She had to keep her boy safe as much as she could even if it meant sowing seeds of deceit. "He likes Ori more than you and he'll never love you as much as mama. You have heard him lie haven't you?"

"He doesn't lie."

"But he calls Thorin his udâd when Thorin is not."

That... that was true. Maybe...

"He thinks you are not as important as Ori when you are even more so."

He looked up at his mother's face.

"Mama would never lie to you." The poisoned words fell from her lips and into her innocent child.


	5. Lies

It wasn't hard for Kili to start to believe what Dis was telling him. His mother had never lied to him before and everyone called her sick when she was not coughing or sneezing. Being so young he could not grasp the concept of mental illness, so he put two and two together and got whatever number his mother told him to have. But he was rather certain of two things. One, Papa and Thorin did love him. Perhaps not in the same way as his mama did but they did love him. If they didn't then why would they hug and kiss him? Why would they make him smile and laugh? So they must love him. Right? Two, Fili, even though he was stupid and liked Ori more now, was not a wicked creature as his mother wanted him to believe. Fili even gave him a friendship kiss when he got home from visiting his mother.

But as time drew on the more he got to visit his mother, the more she got to whisper into his ear. And his certainty began to fray, the threads slowly breaking as he watched his family with her words in his head. Slowly, he started to believe that Fili really was lying to him about being his friend. Whatever Fili needed Thorin got him, so Thorin had to love Fili more than Kili. And that meant that Thorin didn't love Kili at all. Ori still got a lot of Fili's attention when Kili felt as if he should be the only one to get that attention. Thorin, Balin, and Papa even lied to him over and over again that his mama was sick.

"Why is Fili so dangerous?" Kili asked one day.

Dis tied her son's hair back. "Because he will end us all if he is allowed to."

"Why?"

Once Kili's hair was tied Dis spared a glance over at Balin who was taking a nap by the fire. The early spring rains had come and the storms brought with them the first aches to his aging bones as the rain tried to melt the high snow. She worried her lip between her teeth before getting up and ever so quietly slipped into her room. She brought back a very old book. It was not large and had strange handwriting inside that Kili did not recognize.

"Now, only the women of our family are supposed to know this," she whispered, sitting down and pulling Kili onto her lap. "But I will need your help if we are to help Fili."

"Why does he need help?"

"So that he doesn't hurt anyone." She opened the book. Thumbing through the old, crisp pages. "It is very important for the women of Durin not have a blond baby. Something very wicked could live inside him that will make him hurt other people so we have to make sure that he can't."

She flipped to a page with a strange drawing on it. It was of a lion wrapped in chains held by an elven hunter. The lion was attacking helpless dwarven women and children as they tried to scramble for safety. Kili whimpered at the frightening depiction as his mother spoke clear and calm. "He'll change and hurt so many. He'll kill them and eat them up."

"But-"

"You have to keep this a secret. So we can help him."

Kili felt his mother kiss his head then she was getting up and putting the book away. He watched her as she went around the home as if they had not talked at all.

All of this was so confusing to him but mama never lied. Which meant that Fili really was dangerous.

That night while the others slept on the floor again, next to the fire, Kili found he could not shut his eyes without seeing that horrible picture. He was scared to sleep. Fili could reach over at any moment and gobble him up. This fear, it was a terrible feeling.

A hand tangled in his hair causing him to stiffen. His breathing came in quick and fast. His fists clenched in front of his face as he squeezed his eyes shut.

He was going to get eaten.

A raspy tongue dragged over his cheek.

Mama was right! He was tasting him!

Fili was going to eat him!

He screamed. Shoved Fili's face away from him. His feet kicked Thorin in the side, his arms peddling back. He wasn't looking where he was going. His hand fell into coals, his sleeve caught fire. The shrill noise coming out of the little boy changed to a horrible pounding sound as he felt his skin start to cook.

Fili grabbed him, yanking him out of the fire. Large hands suddenly were on him, Thorin awakened by the screams. He ripped off Kili's tunic, the fabric landing on the floor where Thorin stomped it out. Within a blink of an eye he had Kili in his arms and out the door. He shoved Kili's burnt arm into the snow that was piled up against their home.

Thorin kept Kili's arm in the snow as he shouted at Fili, "Get a healer. Now!"

Fili quickly ran off to do what he was told.

Thorin's heart was hammering in his chest. He had to press himself into the snow as well to keep the crying boy in the cold. He tried to say soothing words but they all caught in his throat. Kili knew better! He knew the dangers of a fire, if not by being told then what had happened to Thorin in the forge.

"What were you doing?" Thorin managed to find his voice, it snapped and was harsh.

"F-fili-" Kili hiccuped through his tears. He couldn't feel his arm any more and the rest of his body was very cold. "-was gonna eat me!"

"Why would you think that?! Fili would never hurt you!"

"Ma-mama said so!"

Thorin's heart stopped. Dis... What had Dis been doing? Wasn't her visits with Kili chaperoned?

"What did you say?"

"Mama doesn't lie! She showed me in her book! Fili will eat me!" He sobbed harder. "I don't want to be eaten! He's supposed to be my friend!"

Thorin shook and not from the cold. He fell silent, taking Kili inside. He sat the boy at the table and lit a lantern. Soon Fili came back with a healer that was possibly as old as Balin. Thorin knew him from his own injury from the forge. Oin, he was a good sort and the best one to deal with burns.

He pulled off dead skin and lanced the larger boils. Thorin kept Fili from Kili, pulling the child to his side whenever the blond reached for the injured boy.

"And how did this happen?" Oin asked as he worked.

"Kili was scared, so I tried to comfort him so he could sleep." Fili grabbed one of Thorin's hands and set the palm on top of his head trying not to panic. He didn't understand why Kili was acting so strange of late. He didn't know what to do, and now he was burned. It made Fili's insides hurt like when Thorin had stopped being his udâd for those days long past.

"You were going to eat me!" Kili shouted in defense.

Oin gripped Kili tight while he tried to put salve on Kili's burns. "Do not move laddy."

"I would never eat you!" Fili yelled absolutely hurt that Kili would say such a thing.

"You were tasting me!"

"I was not!"

"Enough!" Thorin roared making the boys snap their mouths shut. "Kili. Fili would never try to eat you. Whatever your mother told you about Fili it is a lie."

"Mama doesn't lie to me like you do!"

The king felt as if he had been slapped. "I... lie to you?"

Kili had fat tears running down his cheeks again. He rubbed at his eyes as Oin wrapped up his arm in bandages. The healer professionally ignored the conversations knowing full well he had heard ten times worse before.

"Y-you don't love me like mama does." Kili sniffled. "You don't love me at all, just like papa."

Thorin didn't say anything. He only patted Fili on the head and quietly stepped out of the house. He didn't grab his cloak. He left his boots and if anyone saw him they would have sworn they saw a very angry, blue eyed demon stalking the night.


	6. Never Again

The shouting woke up half the village. The booming roar of Thorin's voice only flooded out when thunder rumbled overhead. Dis' desperate screams worried many. Cloaks were pulled on as dwarf and human neighbors gathered around, whispering to each other. Many of the men were tense waiting for the sound of something to break or the soft impact of fist hitting flesh to run in and aid the woman they were certain was being harmed.

The front door swung open as Thorin stalked out, the citizens of their little village quickly separating to give him a wide birth.

"Brother no!" Dis threw herself after him. She fell into the mud and snow, her hands clutching at his tunic. "No! You must see! He will end us all!"

"He is a child!" Thorin took her wrists and forced her away from him, throwing her onto her back. "You have poisoned my nephew's mind and now you taint even my own child with what you have told Kili! We believed innocence could help you but... but you remain sick. I will not risk him to fall further into your perversions!"

"Perversions? Perversions?!" Dis struggled up from the mud, her husband coming to her side to help her up and hold her back. "I have been trying to save our family!"

Thorin looked physically ill and so sad. "Take her inside Vili... She cannot be left alone and she shall not see Kili again." He shook his head and started to walk home.

"Thorin. Thorin no! NO!" She clawed at the air, her voice raw as she screamed after her brother. "Fili will devour us just like Frerin! Please! Listen to me!"

Thorin continued to walk. Her yells dying away the closer he got to his hut. _"Fili will devour us just like Frerin!"_ The king felt his stomach lurch. His dinner spilled out onto the road with every heave that accompanied the memories of his long since dead brother. The smiles, the laughs, the arguments and fights between brothers that grew up only ten years apart. Those years were so close by dwarven standards, it made them inseparable even on the battlefield.

He held his head as a painful dry heave caused his head to throb. The sounds of metal clashing echoing instead of thunder. The first drops of rain made him flinch. It didn't feel cold to him, only hot in the memory of fresh blood fanning out in the air and onto him. He fell to his knees trying to fight back the memories of that terrible battle. Every time he remembered, his head split, his heart hammered, and his body became ill for days to follow.

"Udâd."

A hand pressed against his head.

Blue eyes slowly looked up meeting eyes the same color as his own, hair as beautiful as Frerin's, nose like Dis. How did he not see it before?

Fili stroked his father's hair the way Thorin would do to him when he was upset. Two powerful arms wrapped around him, pulling him tight against a broad chest. He hugged Thorin around the neck, burying his face into the wet black locks of hair. His father had been away for a long time. Kili had already fallen asleep and Oin had grown impatient for his own bed. So Fili had went out to find his father. He followed his scent and found him here, kneeling in his own vomit as something made him smell so sad and afraid.

"Come home, udâd."

* * *

Ori was actually a pretty good friend, Kili discovered as days passed. Ori knew a lot about different things and since Kili could not do much but sit and do his studies he spent more time with the redhead. They made up stories together, they drew pictures and Ori even gave him a book to do whatever he wanted with. Something called a journal. At first he didn't care for it but the more he looked at it the more it seemed familiar.

"What are journals for?" Kili asked one day while Thorin spread balm over his burns.

"To record your journey. So that people know how you lived. Fili told me that Ori gave you your first journal. Have you written in it yet?" Since Kili got burned Thorin had been extra nice to him, reminding him every day that his uncle loved him just as much as his mama loved him. He missed his mama but... he had to admit he didn't like how she made him scared of Fili, or how she wanted him to believe that Thorin didn't love him. He was slowly starting to understand that even someone's mother could lie. As to why, he couldn't.

"No..." Kili frowned as his arm was being wrapped.

Seeing the upset expression on his nephew Thorin asked, "What is it?"

Kili looked over to Fili who was sitting quietly with his chin in his hand, eyes trailing over the lines of khuzdul written in a book Thorin had bought in the market recently. He climbed onto Thorin's lap, pulling him down by his braids and whispering in his ear.

"Mama's journal knew Fili's secret."

Thorin's heart stopped. "What?"

"She showed me a scary picture in it. A bad kitty was hurting dwarves and she said that Fili would do the same if we didn't help him. But..." Kili pulled back and looked at Thorin with an open soul. "How did she know? I didn't tell her the secret."

"Good question." He set Kili down on his lap properly. "Very, good question."

The next day, instead of going to the forge Thorin went to the mines. He made sure he went early catching the miners that milled about gathering in groups for a morning chat before they had to slip down deep in the mountain's roots. He spotted a familiar hat in a large group of dwarves.

"Bofur."

"Mornin'," the dimpled dwarf grinned. "Heard a kind of rumor about ya' not a minute ago." He leaned in, his thumbs looped in his belt. "Is it true that you'll be takin' the little ones completely under your name?"

Thorin frowned. "I hardly see how that is any concern of yours."

Bofur nodded politely. "I'm only asking, seein' as what you already are savin' up for. Havin' two little one's to care for will make it difficult."

"I have been managing quite well."

The miner pulled the king to the side away from possible listening ears. "Thorin, you already get half my wages for good reason. If you need more just say."

Thorin smiled a little, "I am not going to pull you out of house and home."

"Oh I wouldn't dream of it. But I could give you a counter offer, Bifur's on the road again with his family so I've got an extra room. Seein' as you still have to pay rent for the forge and the land your home is on, I want to offer you the spare room for you and your boys. Closer to the forge, closer to the healers, right next door is Bombur and his happy brood."

The king sighed. If he was honest with himself he would admit that things were starting to stretch a little thin. Dori's lessons cost money because Dori had to supply home and food for Ori and a brother named Nori that Thorin had yet to meet. The forge, buying the ore to work on, rent, food, clothes, and all the healer visits that Kili was currently requiring, all if it added up.

"That's... that's kind of you, but really right now I must speak to Vili. Do you know where he is?"

"Sure I know. He's on my team today going into the east tunnels." He turned and shouted loudly. "Oye! Vili! Get your sorry arse over 'ere!"

"Keep barking like a bitch and you'll wind up getting slapped like one." Vili pushed through a crowd of dwarves that burst out laughing. His bright smile faded upon seeing Thorin. "Kili?"

"Is fine."

Vili relaxed, his smile returning. "What can I do for you brother?"

"Kili mentioned something yesterday that I think may help us understand what may be wrong with Dis."

Vili frowned. He scratched his beard in though. "I'm listening."

"He spoke of a journal that Dis owns. She showed him frightening pictures from it. I believe whatever is in this journal may give us insight as to what is wrong with her."

"I have never seen Dis with a journal before." His brow wrinkled in thought. "But there are plenty of places to hide things..."

"All I ask is that you look for it. If you do, by chance or fate, find it please bring it to me right away."

"Aye, I will... Now tell a joke so that I don't have to go to work with a head heavy with thought."

"Bofur has a wife."

Vili nearly fell over laughing. It wasn't the idea of Bofur being with a lass it was the way that Thorin said it in such a stone cold way and how quickly he said it with his lips bent in a frown. His laughing earned him a punch in the shoulder by Bofur who then pointed at Thorin.

"I could tell a few jokes about you laddy, be careful what you say."

"Oye, that's my brother you're threatening," Vili slung an arm around Bofur's shoulders still snickering.

"Brother or no, he's still the forge master and I've got an order of twelve picks that needs fixin' by the end of the week. Won't be trustin' those to anyone else." Bofur gave Thorin a wink.

The king sighed through his nose and walked off. Of course Bofur would not trust the mending of his work tools to anyone else. Thorin was the best smithy this side of the Misty Mountains and he was seriously starting to think about raising his prices if not in general then just for Bofur. He was pretty sure Vili was going to come home that day with many terrible jokes that Thorin was the punch line of.

For the rest of the day he worked hard. He pushed himself on the many orders he had waiting for him upon the start of the day. He was pleasantly surprised when Dori brought all three children by for a lunch of bread, cheese, and dried meat. They kept away from the forge and sat on the counter in a little line with dangling feet as Dori rattled on how proud he was of how well all three boys were getting on with each other and how their studies were going better than anticipated. He was quite impressed how Fili took to reading so quickly though writing was still difficult for him.

Thorin politely listened between Dori and one of the children that would randomly call on him and start rattling on about things they saw or what they learned that day. Eventually they had to leave for him to finish his day.

He was on his last project when Vili came into the smithy. He shifted strangely, his eyes bright with unshed tears. Thorin had not noticed, his back to the dwarf as he hammered out the last of the lumps and dents to make a workable pick, one of many.

"Th-thorin?"

He didn't hear him as he struck a few more times, turning the hot metal before quenching it in a large vat of water.

"Thorin."

Thorin pulled the pick out and placed it to the side. He turned around, wiping his sweaty hands on his trousers. "Vili. Did you finish work early?"

"Y-yeah. East tunnel had little ore, we'll be digging out a new tunnel tomorrow... um... Thorin... I..." Vili rubbed the back of his neck smearing dirt and mining soot into his skin. "Since I got home early, Dis was taking a nap. I gave a look around like you asked."

Blue eyes narrowed, "You found it."

"Amongst others." He looked ill. "I only read a little. I... I cannot read any more, I couldn't bare it."

Vili moved his beard to the side. He reached into his leather tunic and pulled out three small books bound together with a piece of twine and a leather strap. He pressed them into Thorin's hands, folding his own over his brother-in-law's. Brown eyes met blue. Vili squeezed Thorin's hands in a bruising grip. "Mahal's hammer shielded Fili and Kili well when the gods chose you to guard them."

"Vili..." Thorin fell short. What was wrong with the man? Was what was written in these pages that terrible?

"I... I must return home, before Dis wakes up. I would, with your permission, like to take Kili and Fili to the markets some day. Spend some time alone with the boys." At Thorin's questioning gaze he smiled a little. "Only me, no Dis."

"I suppose. When you do come to the forge and we can have something to eat."

"I would like that." Vili closed his eyes and bowed his head as if given a grand gift that could not be repaid. "I would, very much like that."


	7. Of Brothers and Sister

Thorin made sure the children were safely asleep with full bellies and heads full of adventurous stories before he looked at the journals. One was newer, filled with hand writing that looked much like his sister's. He set it aside in favor for the oldest one. To know the full truth he knew he had to start at the beginning. How far that beginning stretched was a staggering feat to comprehend.

The oldest book did not have parchment, instead it was etched leather, cared for with oils and replenished inks over time to keep it as well preserved as possible. Ancient designs scrolled around the margins colored in reds, greens, and golds. Long since extinct animals twined with runes and depictions of rock framed large letters. This was possibly the eldest book he had ever held in his hands, that he had ever seen. It was thin, the words distinct in a long since forgotten dialect. The only reason why he could read some of it was from the fact that he was of royal blood and had been taught some as a requirement for him to shoulder the history of his kin. To remember those long since past.

He read it slowly, having to go back and reread some parts as the translations he made to some semblance to an understandable khuzdul. Eventually he had to get up from his seat at the table to search for some sort of parchment and ink. When he found what he needed he lit two more candles and applied himself. Writing every word down as the hours waxed well into night. It was when those very hours started to wane into morning that he put the book down.

Thorin took a moment before he picked up the translations. They were choppy, but complete enough to make sense for the given time period.

He felt his stomach twist with sickness as he covered his mouth. Fingers ran through his beard numbly trying to sooth the thoughts that grew in his head like vines with the most terrible thorns as he read the completion of this new discovery.

_Be this to the daughters of Aulë, fealty owed Arda. _  
_Preservation upon the waking dream of the darkening of Valinor._  
_The golden light, promised upon the dwarven children the power of the gods. But it was corrupt. Black was the city without the lamps. _  
_Twisted within the Sleep of Yavanna, a cursed existence. _  
_Morgoth did not answer. Remained silent upon the pleas of those who followed. _  
_The light was cursed, pushed well into the belly of the First._  
_Death must follow the child of golden light, through birth or through battle._  
_Perseverance must be found within for the gods do not answer._  
_The gods have no ears._

This spoke of before the First Age. A curse... for following Morgoth? But they were children of Aulë, Mahal, they have never strayed from his path.

Something twisted in the dark...

Death of newborn children...

This wasn't right. None of this made any sense. It just made him feel uneasy with its babbling madness of some superstitious ancestor. Ravings of a lunatic from so long ago that they could have been the first in their line to succumb to derangement for all Thorin knew.

He pushed the translations to the side and picked up the second book. He vaguely remembered this one. It was his great grandmother's. She was very old when he first found it.

His fingers went over the detailed leather fixed with metal and jewels creating a magnificent picture of Yavanna and Mahal together. If he remembered correctly she had struck him hard, the first real pain he had ever felt in his life. She had been furious, shouting at him as she threw him out of the room they had been in, her toothless mouth spitting the whole time. His grandfather explained she always kept the book close. Told him that the journal had been a wedding gift showing how Thorin's great grandmother belonged with his great grandfather just as Mahal and Yavanna belonged together.

The memory made his heart heavy with longing. He looked to Fili and Kili who slept tangled together. Thorin never thought upon it but he did wish that Thror had been able to see his great grandchildren. He would have loved them. Insisting on taking them out on long walks even if his knees and old back were about to give. Thror would have sat in bed with them reading story after story, hugging them to his sides, repeating everything he had done for Thorin, Dis, and Frerin.

"Udâd." Fili shifted in his sleep, pulling Kili closer to his chest like a cat hugging a kitten. He looked around with sleepy eyes.

"I'm right here." Thorin said softly from where he sat.

"You should sleep." Fili's words were thick since his tongue was heavy from sleep, some drool spilling out of his mouth onto the mattress. He made a little slurping noise too tired to properly wipe at his lips.

"I must finish something first."

Fili made a little noise of acknowledgement before tucking his head down into a mess of Kili's hair and promptly falling back to sleep.

Thorin smiled softly. Fili was a sweet thing. He usually thought of others before himself, and he forgave much. Kili's jealousy, Thorin's own neglect of him, which made whatever Dis had done or what Fili thought Dis had done more the worrying. For him to hold a grudge... what had happened?

The question nagged him. It pushed and pulled, nibbled and gnawed, at his brain until he put down his great grandmother's journal and picked up Dis'.

Her handwriting was much easier to read. It grew from messy childish penmanship to strong bold marks that designated her individuality among other female dwarves that tended to try to place more of a soft touch to their writing. He smiled at some entries that were as simple as; Thorin is stupid! And Frerin is a thug who keeps taking my toys away! Then there were enduring ones; Frerin was sweet today. He gave me an apple, first ripe one of the year. I miss going outside to walk but my duties are compelling. I must stay inside. I must learn.

Then something made his heart beat slow.

-  
_I learned of Frerin today. I refuse to believe it. He has always been good to all of us, always so sweet and gentle. I simply cannot believe it._  
-

Thorin's brow creased. He skimmed over the normal entries. Eyes flitting from page to page going back to read the full entry when Frerin's name was mentioned.

-  
_The more I am taught by mother the more it makes sense. Frerin... I do not think ill of you. You are just a poor soul that was given a bad life... I understand why mother could not do what needed to be done. I do not believe I have the ability to do so either..._  
_I'll keep it secret. I will keep you secret._  
-

-  
_It happened again today. Mother's fits. This time, she did not survive. My duties now fall hard upon my head. Mahal shield me with your hammer, I do not have the strength._  
-

He remembered that. Mother would become sad quickly. She would be so depressed she could not see anyone when they stood in front of her. Frerin was the one that tried his best to take care of her. The healers dubbed it a sickness of the heart. There was nothing they could do, it was up to their family to try and keep her happy.

As heir to the throne, Thorin, did not have time to spare to be with her often. He tried, but most nights when he was too tired to drag himself down the hallway to her room he would be woken in the middle of the night by a tired Frerin that crawled into bed with Thorin and hugged him tight.

He would hold onto his brother, clutching him tight, giving Frerin the relief of sobbing into his night shirt. Since he could not be there for their mother he had been there for his brother. Frerin went through so much. He watched as mother lost her senses little by little each day. Some times she had fits and would hurt him.

**"Get the knife away!" Thorin grabbed Frerin and pulled him back behind Thorin.**

**"Don't hurt her!" Frerin pleaded. "She doesn't know what she's doing."**

**"Does it matter? She stabbed you!"**

**Frerin turned his brown eyes away from Thorin. Both of their hands pressed against his side that seeped red between their fingers. Still, Frerin was trying to protect the woman that birthed them. He already had a black eye, he had scars that littered up his forearms from where she would stab at him with her forks and knives if he got too close at meal time. Now she had hidden a blade away and waited to strike at him. Her most gentle child. She was getting worse. Soon it would be either her death or Frerin's and Thorin cursed himself because he did not want a life without his brother.**

**Thorin felt his eyes sting at the memory. He remembered so well that following night, how his brother felt against him as he slept. His head tucked under Thorin's chin in his fitful slumber. Gold and black hair mixed together over the pillows. He kissed his brother many times that night trying to sooth him. He wanted to protect his brother but he was not sure how. He could not kill their mother, she had been a good woman. But he could not... would not... live without his brother.**

He had been wrong. He lived, only barely. The only spark in his life had been Kili after the child had been born and had started to smile. The smile so much like Frerin's, and now he had Fili.

Sweet, lovely Fili who looked so much like the brother he had lost.

Thorin took a deep breath, watching the children sleep. He silently prayed to Mahal to protect the children from Frerin's fate. Then, slowly, went back to reading.

One particular page was warped. Lines of ink and drops made it hard to read, it was as if Dis had written it when she had been crying.

-  
_I slipped it into his drink... It had done the job. It made him too slow in battle._

_Frerin, my dear sweet brother... Mahal hold you close since I cannot._

_I hope that Thorin may never find out, I know how close they had been. I have little wonder as to why I did not poison Thorin as well. Slowed them both into a death together. I did not do it for I am selfish. I may be married but I still crave for my family. To know I am not the only Durin remaining._  
-

Thorin was still.

There was a faint sound. A tapping. It was steadily growing louder, more frequent. Something tried to push out of his throat but it stopped. Causing him to cough. He blinked rapidly, large tears falling onto the journal page making the tapping sound.

Thorin.

Son of Thrain, son of Thror, sat in the dark. Like a small child lost in a battle field he leaned forward, dropping the journal from his hands. He curled in on himself and silently cried, trying not to wake the children.

He had just learned a horrid truth.

The brother he loved so much, had wanted to protect with all his heart and soul, had been sentenced to death by their sister who they had trusted with their lives.


	8. Memories

Thorin had been working all day. Between training, political lessons, rhetoric, ancient khuzdul, math, and common he had no time to steal away for his usual bout of play with his brother. They were still young straplings but duty was duty, and as Thorin was the first born male and Dis was the only daughter they were constantly busy leaving Frerin alone to his own devices. He usually was reading, seated at a windowsill. Sometimes he would be found in the kitchens offering extra help or even down in the training ground helping to sharpen axes or swords. He was a sweet thing, gentle and kind.

It was on a particularly sunny day that Thorin found Frerin sitting in his usual windowsill, the stain glass filtering over him making his golden hair seem almost copper. Frerin's curly hair was bothering him, he had the look of a fresh bath and always the dwarf's hair would curl into ringlets if left to their own devices. He groaned for the upteenth time and blew up around his nose in an attempt to get the lock of hair out of his face.

Thorin felt his heart flutter a little. He watched Frerin pull his bare feet up under him so he could hold his book in his lap and try to tame the wild mane of his hair. Something about him, about his brother made him want to stay with him, beside him, forever. He didn't know why. He just... did.

He stepped up, pulling out his travel comb from his pocket. "Mayb I?" His voice rumbled gaining his brother's attention.

Frerin groaned, "Yes, please. I swear I would have chopped this all off if I wasn't a dwarf!"

"Don't say that." Thorin smiled as he sat down, his brother moving to present his back to Thorin. He started at the bottom of the long locks and worked his way up. "Where are your beads?"

"You know I can't keep them in when this cursed nest is drying." Frerin moved a little, the sound of a page flipping showing that he went back to reading.

"I heard that hobbits have curly hair. Maybe you were a hobbit in your past life."

The blond pushed back, his head dropping against Thorin's shoulder as he did. "Don't even joke about that. Hobbits are... are... well they are terrible warriors and rather spread rumors than anything else."

"I heard the Took family was good with other races."

"Maybe being reborn as a Took wouldn't be so bad, but I rather be a dwarf. We're the best race." He smiled. He hesitated for a moment, then his lips were on Thorin's cheek.

Thorin stiffened, but he closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. It felt so nice, so wonderful and relaxing. Something about the kiss eased something inside of him that he did not know was tightly wound. He wrapped his arms around Frerin instinctively, pulling him fully back and onto his lap.

Frerin twisted in his arms, placing the book down and hugging Thorin close.

"Thank you."

"For what?" the raven haired prince asked.

"For not being disgusted with me, for not pushing me away."

Thorin buried his face into Frerin's half combed hair and took in a deep breath. He always smelled of freshly tilled earth and fresh grass. Such natural smell, nothing like the iron tange and musk that people had said that Thorin had. He ran a hand through Frerin's hair, his fingers getting tangled in the unbrushed knots.

"Do not speak of rebirth... I would not have you taken from me."

That night Frerin could not sleep. He slipped into Thorin's bed, the book he had earlier left abandoned on his own. He had been crying.

"Thorin?" Frerin nudged his brother.

"What? What is it?" Thorin moved in the sheets, having had to roll over.

Frerin shook his head while hugging himself. He gave a small sniffle. Thorin pulled him into his bed, holding him close. He placed gentle kisses on his brother's face earning a slightly relaxed Frerin.

"What happened?"

"I... I'm just being stupid..." He said.

Thorin was quiet. He knew eventually his brother would tell him what was bothering him. But he never did. He stayed quiet, pushing his face against Thorin's pillow. A fresh sob ripped through him and it broke Thorin's heart.

"Shh, shh," Thorin rolled Frerin onto his back. Thorin moved on top of Frerin, blue eyes meeting brown. "Frerin." He caressed his brother's cheek. "Whatever has upset you, let me take it away."

Frerin was then kissing him, their lips parting in favor for clumsy tongues and desperation. Thorin wanted to take this pain away but whatever was plaguing Frerin drove him into his own kind of need. It was as if he realized a terrible secret and he needed to forget.

Their hands fumbled pulling off nightshirts and small clothes. They held onto each other, kissing every bit of flesh they could reach as their hands explored. Hips rutted, erections rubbed with delicious friction never felt before in such a way. They were both so young, hormones had barely taken hold of them for only a few years. They covered each other's mouths when they climaxed, spilling their seed upon each other.

Afterwards Thorin stroked Frerin's hair, his fingers ran over a large ear. When it elicited a purr he did it again. The shell of Frerin's ear slipped between fingers, earning the most amazing moan Thorin had ever heard in his whole life. He did it again out of curiosity, and again Frerin made that lovely, lovely, sound.

"S-stop." Frerin's mouth fell open, panting harder with each stroke.

If just touching could do that then... Thorin leaned over and ran his tongue across the soft skin behind Frerin's earlobe. His brother bucked against him with a helpless whine. Thorin smirked. Oh he was going to have fun with that, but for the time being he would relent to his brother's request. Instead he placed kisses down his jaw to his lips where they shared another clumsy kiss.

They slept well that night, holding onto each other.

It was some time after that when Thorin found Frerin once more down in the training halls. Frerin came more often, even though they did not get much time to talk, and their nights were spent together, just being around each other relaxed Thorin greatly. Yet, there was one thing that bothered him. Frerin never told him why he had been crying that night. When asked he still would not say. So, Thorin, at a loss, let it be.

As time passed Frerin became interested in the bow. It was the only weapon he could not grievously harm himself with. Thorin had to be taken to the healer twice when Frerin got a hold of sword and axe. He was still proud of himself for not lopping off a limb. Thus the bow was bestowed upon him. He managed to snap the string in his face on the first try which made him depressed until Thorin told him while petting his head, "You finding a way to hurt yourself with every weapon shows you have talent."

"I'm a terrible dwarf." Frerin whined.

"You're a strange dwarf, which makes you perfect." Thorin smiled.

"I'm trying to be depressed. You're not helping."

"My apologies."

Frerin adjusted himself until his head was on Thorin's lap. He heaved a sigh, "I know you're trying to cheer me up but I just... I know I'm not a good dwarf."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because the others talk about me. I hear them, some of them call me an elf."

Thorin bristled. "You are no elf. Do not listen to them."

"I don't want to be an elf."

"No one in their right mind wants to be an elf."

"Legolas still being an ass to you huh?"

Thorin looked away. "We're done talking about elves."

Frerin fell silent. That night he didn't go to Thorin's room. Nor the next, or the next. He spent more time in the training halls, showing how very adept he was to the weapon. When Thorin would come into the room they would share a few pleasantries and Frerin would soon leave. It bothered the older brother. Actually, it tormented him. The denied contact of his brother, of his lover, it was the only thing keeping him from wanting to leap across the tables at meetings and attacking. Especially when Thranduil paid homage to Thror and brought his brat, Legolas with him. Legolas tormented him with bragging about how much of a better warrior he was than Thorin. He hounded him with questions about how dwaves could ever be so silly/stupid for believing in Mahal of all gods. Then there were the wonderful teases of how he heard that Frerin was gifted in the bow and how the dwarf being so fair was just a misplaced elf. Oh, that got Thorin thrown out of the meeting real quick as well as Legolas. They were supposed to be future allies and they were not off to a good start. This behavior forced the pair to be ordered to spend time together. Most days did not end well.

It was this time spent away from Frerin that had soured the other's mood. He grew jealous and it was hard to bottle it up. He took precautions in removing himself from Thorin so he was not tempted to harm him or call him a cheating bastard. He spent more time in the training halls so that he could concentrate on something that would not allow his mind to wonder, much like reading granted him. Eventually he spent most of his time outside. One of the guards took him under his wing and started to teach him how to hunt. When he got his first turkey he was so excited and presented it as dinner for his teacher. Balin was a great man, just barely climbing the ranks.

"So what's gotten you in a knot, laddy?" Balin asked one day while they were walking outside the gates of Erebor.

Frerin ran his hand through his messy hair. He managed to knock his clip out. He bent over and grabbed it. His fingers traced over the engraved metal. It was last years birthday present from Thorin, made by his own hands. He sighed. "I'm being a fool is all... I know Thorin doesn't like that elf boy but..."

"I know where you're coming from." Balin smiled with support. "The first time I got someone taking my attention away from my brother Dwalin... well, Dwalin broke his leg so he would have to stay away from me. He didn't know it was the royal recruiter, quite the feat for such a small boy."

The blond let out a laugh. He had been wondering why the main guard recruiter was restricted to his office and never left behind his desk. To have his leg broken by a dwarfling, oh that poor man.

"I am glad I can say I am not that bad... though sometimes it's hard to restrain myself."

"I'm actually quite impressed by your willpower. The jealousy of the Line of Durin is infamous."

Frerin gave a half shrug, his gaze back to the clasp. "I'm not much of a Durin."

"You hold a hidden meaning under that."

The prince swallowed a thick knot in his throat. He looked back at the great gates of Erebor. "Don't tell Thorin..."

"Don't tell him what?"

Frerin shook his head and continued to walk. "You are a good friend Balin. I want you to watch over him after... if, if something may happen."

"Frerin, you're not making any sense."

"You know what we should look for? Apples. Apples should be ripening now. I think Dis would like one." Frerin strode off with long strides of his legs forcing Balin to shuffle after him. The subject dropped.

After Frerin had delivered an apple to Dis he found himself with nothing to do. Despite all the dwarves in Erebor he felt himself alone. The familiar voice of his brother floated down the hall accompanied by that blasted elf. He looked over to the pair that turned the corner, actually getting along as to the point they were not visibly sickened being within a ten foot radius of one another.

"I will admit you dwarves do know a little something about how to cook meat. Red meat is a difficult thing to cook right." Legolas looked as if he was saying -sorry I have no change- to a beggar on the street.

Thorin only grunted in reply, which was getting somewhere considering he would not even make a noise if someone he didn't like was around. Which meant they were getting along with each other. It set a fire in Frerin's belly that felt as hot as a forge.

Thorin's blue eyes caught Frerin's glare. The young prince snorted angrily storming off to his room. He slammed the door.

Fuck Thorin! Fuck that stupid elf! Fuck everything!

Frerin paced around in his room. He grabbed his old book and threw it across the room, cursing it in khuzdul. He hated it! If it wasn't for that stupid book then he never would have ended up in Thorin's room. He never would have felt those kisses, the tender touches. Hear the sweet nothings as his ear was being nibbled, have hands caressing him.

He stomped over to the window and looked out to the dying day. Dusk was usually very beautiful to him, but at the moment he wanted to do nothing more than to punch that pretty sunset. Punch anything really, maybe even a kitten.

The door opened and closed with a soft click. "Frerin..."

He scowled, turning around to find Thorin. "What do you want? I'm tired."

"What did I do wrong?"

The blond looked stubbornly to the side. "I'm tired Thorin. No doubt you would like to go to bed as well."

Thorin crossed the room quickly. "Why do you keep avoiding me? What did I do wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well you are, so speak!"

"Speak about it to your fucking elf!"

"What? You think I wish to be with that elf? He infuriates me! Thror is the one that wishes me to be with him! It is not my choice, you must believe that."

"Get out of my room." Frerin moved away when Thorin reached for him. "I want to be alone."

Something inside Thorin snapped, it was as if he was falling, staggering down an endless void when Frerin shied away from him. He moved forward. He grabbed Frerin and pinned him against the wall. His voice was broken as he slowly released the fistful of hair he did not know he had grabbed. "Don't shy away from me. Deny me food and water, deny me breath but do not deny me you." He placed a kiss on Frerin's lips as an apology for his rough handling. "The elf means nothing to me. I can only have you in my heart, Frerin. You must believe that."

Frerin's arms wrapped around Thorin's shoulders. He pulled him close as their lips met once more. He slipped his tongue against Thorin's deepening the kiss with a panicked passion. He needed to be reassured. He needed to know that he was still wanted by his brother, that he still meant more than Thorin's duties and that pretty elf that he was forced to spend time with.

He pulled at Thorin's robes forcing him to shed the layers. His brother pulled him from the wall and they quickly shucked their clothing off. Soon as the last article was tossed Thorin pushed him onto the bed. A hot tongue went over his nipple, teasing it with an open mouthed kiss. Delicious fingers trailed down his sides leaving behind light scratches down to his thighs. Caressing hands parted his legs, palms and fingers massaging the smooth skin there. All the while Thorin's mouth was licking and sucking over Frerin's chest purposely teasing him.

Thorin wanted to take his brother so badly. He wanted to shove his cock so deep into that body that the younger could not sit for a week. But more so, he wanted to taste, to touch, to feel that body that had been denied to him for what felt like an eternity. He bit down on Frerin's collarbone, giving a hard suck leaving behind a lovely purple and red blossom. He worked his mouth over to the shallow of his neck, lapping slowly. The moan he got was so wonderful. Every sound he got out of Frerin was like water to a man dying of thirst. He greedily drank every sound up and moved his hands and mouth to gain more.

Soon Frerin's neck and shoulders were peppered with small bruises and bites. His chest was heaving with deep pants as he tried his best to touch and kiss Thorin back. When his hands went to their erections his wrists were grabbed and pinned above his head.

He looked to Thorin's stunning eyes. "Please," he begged, spreading his legs wider in invitation for Thorin to touch him. "Mahal, please."

Thorin cursed. He got up off of his brother and went into a wild search around the room. He had yet to take the boy in such a way, he could not wait any longer, especially after that pleading. He finally found some oil he could use. When he got back to his brother he bowed his head and groaned at the beautiful sight before him. Spread and wanting. Fingers of one hand stretched out to him, the other gently stroking a weeping cock.

"Hold this." He placed the small pot of oil into the outstretched hand as he slipped back between his brother's legs. He took off the top and dipped his fingers in. He looked at Frerin's face as he slipped his fingers down the long vein of the underside of that throbbing cock, over his ball sack and lower still. He took his time, watching each expression, hearing each lovely noise that left that lovely body shivering.

He took a moment to slip his finger along the pucker of Frerin's entrance. He carefully slipped a finger in, nice and slow. He felt the unsure clenching and he whispered softly, "It will be alright." Hsi words puffed over the tip of Frerin's cock. He slipped it into his mouth very gently running his tongue over the leaking slit. The taste was salty and that wonderful smell of Frerin's arousal made his cock twitch almost painfully. He continued to suck as he slipped another finger into the dwarf underneath him. Hands found their way into his hair, pulling him off of his tasty treat.

"I-I'm going to come if you don't-"

"That's the point." Thorin definitely wrapped his lips around the side of Frerin's cock, his tongue slipping around as much of the girth as he could in a teasing way. He added a third finger and had just started to pump his hand causing Frerin to come. The tightness around his fingers made him stop moving them. He waited for a good while, allowing his brother to catch his breath.

Once he was satisfied he started to pump his fingers, fanning them out here and there in hopes to make him wide enough. He smirked when he pulled his fingers out and Frerin, half hard already, mewled in protest. He took the tipped over pot and what was left in it slathered it over his cock, hissing at the pain of how hard he was.

Thorin hooked his thumb under the back of Frerin's knee, pulling a leg up so he had better access. He lined himself up and slowly pushed in. It was the single most fantastic feeling he was certain he would ever feel in his life. The warmth was amazing but it was the completion that overwhelmed him. Something long lost, his again, only his, forever his.

He rested his forehead against Frerin's, panting heavily, body shivering with the need to move. His brother hand one hand holding the back of Thorin's neck, while the other sought his, their fingers lacing together. Frerin's legs wrapped around his waist earning a small buck of his hips. The gasp from those lovely lips made Thorin test a few more thrusts. He growled out his own pleasure as Frerin came undone under him.

"Mahal, p-please~" his mouth was open, his head turned to the side in a pillow of his own golden hair, his lovely neck exposed. Thorin's own raven locks curtained around them, shielding Frerin's perfection from the world, his expressions only for Thorin to indulge in. "Mahal, please, f-fuck me!"

Thorin's hips snapped forward, he moved at a quick and hard pace causing Frerin's moaning figure to scoot up the mattress a bit. Every thrust he gave made his brother send praises up to their god, which in turn drove him insane with lust. His mouth bit and kissed at neck and lips.

What was his undoing was what fell from Frerin's lips it was jumbled, messy and misplaced but Thorin understood it. Frerin had said to him, "Oh Mahal, I love you."

Thorin tipped over the edge and spilled his seed inside of his brother. So blinding was his orgasim that he did not feel Frerin's second joining his. He gave a few pumps of his hips before collapsing to the side. He winced and fished the empty pot out from under him and chucked it lazily across the room. It broke and he didn't care. All he cared about were those sleepy brown eyes on him, how much full of love they were.

"I love you too." Thorin said, suppressing a yawn. He pulled Frerin close paying no mind to the mess of the sheets and themselves.

That sweet touch of hands through his hair lulled him to sleep.

Thorin woke from his memories. His head was resting on the table, an arm stretched out on the top the other dangling halfway off of his lap.

He was so tired. Now he was sore and even more depressed.

Frerin... his lovely Frerin...

"Udâd," Fili's little voice spoke up from the floor, those innocent blue eyes looking up at him.

Thorin groaned in pain when he moved. He could feel some of the bruises that Dis gave him, on the night he told her she could never see Kili again, were starting to protest. He managed to slip down onto the floor next to his son who turned to him and wrapped his little arms around his neck.

"Don't be sad." Fili said as he hugged tighter.

Thoring hugged his boy. It was nice to feel the positive touch of someone once again. It eased his mind a little. Though, he was certain, what remained in the rest of those journals would haunt him with more than just memories.


	9. New Home

Bofur was a cheerful fellow that always had food to feed a stranger and an extra cot to offer a weary traveler. He lived on the outskirts of their settlement that was barely a village of Ered Luin. He was always the first to see someone come and the last to see them leave. Wishes of luck always left his lips with promises to help if ever summoned by his friends.

Next to his little hut was a place that his brother, Bombur, had settled with his lovely wife. They had four children and were expecting a fifth. When the two walked with their children they always were told how lucky they were to be blessed with so many little ones, but Bofur knew the real reason. It was love. When you loved someone so thoroughly you did anything for them. You wanted to be with them in every possible way at any given time. And Bombur and his wife, which Bofur called Toffle because she made very good toffee and he could never remember her name, were very much in love. Thus, child after child came and as long as Bombur and Toffle could move he was certain more children were to come.

On a daily basis the little dwarves would rush over to their uncle's hut and invade his privacy before he went to work or after they heard the door shut when he returned home from a long day's work. They were a whirlwind of energy that he found wore him out more than mining for ore giving him good nights full of happy rest.

One such night he had ushered the last of the little ginger nuts out of his home and settled in for a good sleep. He was having a good dream of traveling with Thorin off to buy the rest of the Blue Mountains with their hard earned money, finally giving the dwarves of Westron a good home when he was startled awake from a loud knocking on his door.

He trodded out of his bed, dressed in his long underwear, grabbing only his hat. He grumbled a little as he lit a candle, the hard knocking making the wood of his door shake and groan.

"Imma comin'. I'm comin'!"

He pulled open the door expecting someone that had been told of his welcome home that was just passing through. Instead. Soaked in the rain, cloak wrapped around two shivering bundles, was Thorin Oakenshield. Two packs were strapped to his back, hastily placed.

The early spring rain was mixed with snow that set the usually stoic man into shivers as he looked at his friend with an expression that did not give any option to back out of. "Let us in."

Bofur moved to the side, the scuffing on the bottom of his door showed that Thorin had opted to kick instead of knock, "Of course. Just, uh. I'll start up a fire."

Bofur shut the door after Thorin carried in Fili and Kili, that took up his arms. He quickly took his candle to the fireplace and threw some kindling and wood inside the cold hearth and lit it with the candle.

He put the candle down on a small table and looked around for a moment. "Uh, I don't think I have anything that can fit you, but you'll be needin' to be gettin' out of those clothes before you take ill."

He went into his room finding the largest shirt and trousers he could. Coming back to the main room he found Thorin slowly stripping off his tunic with the help of Fili grabbing at the sopping cloth and pulling it over a mess of dark hair as the man bent over. The little blond took the tunic and threw it over the back of a chair that he dragged over with the help of Kili over to the fire to dry.

Bofur placed the dry clothes to the side as he helped his friend take off his boots. Something about Thorin made him look like he had just gone through a fight that he was barely able to dodge out of. When he got the second boot off that was when he got a good look. The peppered bruises up and down his side were dark purple in color. They looked a few days old, the healing causing his friend to finally feel the effects of it.

"How did you get these then?"

"Dis. When I told her she could not see the children again."

The miner sighed, placing the boots by the fire while Thorin took off his trousers. "So the sounds that woke up half the village was her really loosen her head over you then?"

"Mostly."

"And you showin' up in the middle of the night?"

Thorin frowned even more when the dry trousers didn't fit. He sighed and put them back on the table and wore just a long shirt. Fili and Kili pulled on the long shirt and he sat down pulling them up onto his knees. They were still tired, rightfully so. He had taken yet another day away from the forge. Read through the journals even though they broke his heart with each word written. Then he couldn't stand it any more. The thought that Dis knew where he lived, knew where to find his son and Kili. It scared him. Usually fear he would not admit to, but this... this depravity of hers, it sent a shiver down into his soul.

Thorin hugged the children closer to his chest. "Dis must not know where they are."

Bofur stiffened. "She really that bad now?"

"She is far worse than I could ever imagine..."

Fili pulled Kili up onto the chair. Bofur and Thorin had gone to work with strict instructions they were not to leave the house just yet. They were not to answer the door, and to stay away from the windows. There was food placed on the table that they were told was to last them all day. But right now Fili had to change Kili's bandage.

He looked around and went over to one of the packs still in the main room. He dug through it finding the salve and came over to the brunette. He carefully took off the bandages like Thorin had shown him. The burns were a lot better now, they didn't look like they would scar.

It was when he was spreading the cooling salv on Kili's arm that the boy finally spoke up for the first time in two days. The little brunette had been quiet ever since Thorin started to talk about how sick Dis was. At first he did not understand it, but after he got burned and how Fili continued to be a his best friend, he started to put some things together. It hurt, really, knowing that his mother had been trying to use him in order to hurt Fili. It hurt a lot. And if Thorin thought it was best to move them in the middle of the night so that Dis could not find them... she was very bad. She was the one that was dangerous. Not Fili, not Thorin. He had to come to terms with that.

"I'm sorry I thought you were a bad kitty." Kili's voice broke when he said the last two words.

"It's okay." Fili smiled softly, his shoulders visibly relaxing.

"No it's not... Mama wanted me to help hurt you..."

Fili twitched from the lance of pain that had caused to his heart. Kili... Kili would have hurt him?

The blistered palm of Kili's slipped into Fili's. Despite the pain he squeezed the blond's hand, he leaned forward, resting his forehead on Fili's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Fili moved his head enough to drag his tongue over Kili's face tasting the salty tears that were silently falling. He would forgive Kili of anything but forgiveness did not stop the pain that stabbed at him. Instead he focused on licking the tears away from Kili, calming his thoughts as he did.

After Kili's face was wet from Fili's saliva and not tears Fili asked softly. "Would you have hurt me?"

"No!" Kili threw himself off of the chair and clutched onto Fili. The older barely caught him before toppling over onto the ground not being able to support the full weight of Kili.

He groaned from where his head hit the floor. He was barely aware of Kili's babbling of apologies and how he should have listened to his dad and uncle Thorin. The only thing that shut him up was Fili covering his mouth with a hand. He smiled and nuzzled his friend. That stab in his heart was gone. Kili wouldn't hurt him, would never, ever hurt him. That felt nice.

It was few days later that Thorin decided to finally sit the boys around him as he tried to explain his findings in the journals. He had called Balin and Vili to gather with Bofur, Bombur, and Toffle. He needed them to know the gravity of the situation. For every adult involved to know that no matter what Dis was not allowed any of the children again. Their hut was filled rather well with so many dwarves present.

Thorin produced the three books that Vili had smuggled out from under Dis' watchful eye. His brother-in-law looked away from them looking uneasy.

"As it is known to many of us my sister, Dis, is not well. I did not know how unwell until I had read her personal journal as well as the two entrusted to her care." He placed down the oldest and tapped the cover. "The first is a sonnett. Ravings of someone who believed to have been before the First Age. It was the start of a secret passed down to every Durin woman." He then placed his great grandmother's journal on top of that one. He swallowed and put his hand on this one.

"That's the one mama showed me!" Kili exclaimed.

Thorin nodded. He waited for a moment before opening up the book, finding a the very page Kili had described with the scary cat and elf. He handed the book to Vili. The picture was much more graphic than what Kili had said. The chains the elf held were not simply wrapped around the lion but hooked into its meat. There were dismembered bodies laying about as the lion bit down upon a victim. The elf in the picture was serene, with one hand held up in a holy gesture. Vili made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat and passed the book over to Toffle who gasped at how horrid the picture was. Bombur quickly took it from his wife and stroked her back.

"This book, is not what it would seem. There are many contradictions, one being that only dwarves may slay the beast or an elven right. All because of a belief that every golden haired child born to a Durin is to be slain at birth or in battle, yet the only reason is that there is a possibility of the child being different from the others." Thorin spoke up.

"Different? In what way?" Balin asked when he got to see the picture after Bofur.

"A preposterous notion that the child can become a flesh eating beast. This book," he took it from Balin and placed it down. "is a guide. It tells how to teach the daughters of Durin how to fully believe these lies. It instructs on the proper way to slay the newborn, and if the newborn lives on how to properly dispose of it through other means. It even instructs on how to take the women who marry into our line to believe such things."

"And if they don't?"

"They are executed."

Toffle took a visible step back who held her to his side. "That is... awful. So awful."

"I agree, you should get rid of that wicked book." Bombur frowned deeply. As loving parents they could not understand such thoughts and they did not want to.

"Now, wait a moment." Balin paced a few steps he could take. "If what Thorin is saying is true, that Dis was raised to believe all of this then the book would give us stratigic insite as to what she may try to do. But my question is, why now? What triggered this? Yes blond dwarves are rare but she has met many before, even Frerin was blond. So why focus on solely Fili?"

Thorin swallowed hard. He looked to Fili and ran his hand over his head. He knew the truth now, how he had no right to call Fili his son, but it hurt to admit that.

Vili spoke up, "Thorin, you don't have to say another thing."

"I do." He spoke to Fili and Kili now. "Kili... your mama had a baby before you."

"She did?"

Thorin nodded, "But she was very bad and left him in the woods to be eaten by animals."

"What?! I had a sister or brother? And mama... Well she's not getting Fili!" Kili got up from his seat on the floor. He suddenly grabbed Fili and held him tight against his chest, nearly choking the blond.

"Kili... Fili is your brother."

"You don't know that Thorin." Vili said almost painfully.

Thorin shot a piercing gaze up at Vili. "Look at him. He has Frerin's hair, blue eyes of the Durins, and Dis' nose, your cheeks and chin!"

Kili let go of Fili and went over to his father. "Papa, papa, is that true? Is Fili really my brother?"

Vili looked at Thorin carefully before he looked to his child. He picked up Kili and felt such a sadness for his brother-in-law. "We believe he is..."

"Udâd." Fili scrambled over to Thorin. This wasn't true. Thorin was his father. Thorin was the one that held him close, who hugged and kissed him. He was the one that knew his secret and still loved him as much as Kili did. He didn't know Vili. He was Kili's dad, not his.

Thorin looked closed his eyes and looked away from those pleading eyes that begged him to say this was a bad joke. He cursed Fili for being so intelligent. It would have been much easier if he was like Kili and just accepted it.

Then Kili said something that made Vili laugh. "Fili! Fili! Do you know how lucky you are? You have two papas!"

Vili agreed loudly, "Yes, yes he does."

Thorin looked up to his companions who all shared the same look. For him to take this chance and remain Fili's father without removing Vili's role. Thorin cursed himself for being so selfish. All of the joys of fatherhood should be Vili's not his, but he took it. He reached over and stroked Fili's hair.

"Udâd." Fili leaned into the stroking touch. "If Vili is my other papa, then who is Frerin?"

iHe should have been your other papa./i Thorin stamped down on the thought. Frerin deserved more to his memory than 'should have been's and 'could have's.

"Frerin was your uncle." Balin said softly. "A very good man."

Fili looked at Balin for a long time before he looked back to Thorin. "May I call Kili, brother?"

"If you would like."

Kili gave a shriek of excitement that caused nearly everyone in the hut to wince. He wiggled down from his father's grip and ran over to Fili hugged him tight. He squeezed Fili so hard that he made an odd cat like wheeze.

"It's getting late." Thorin tapped to top of Kili's head with his knuckles. "Get ready for bed."

"I get to sleep with my brother!" Kili screamed running out of the room, dragging Fili by a hand.

"Speaking of brothers... Shall I tell them or should you?" Vili asked kindly soon as the children were out of hearing.

Thorin gripped Dis' journal. He held it out for Balin to take. He stood up and walked passed them, silent and heavy bodied. Balin placed a hand over the journal and sighed, letting Thorin go. He was one of the very few that knew what had been shared between the two and he would keep it a secret, but he would also let the other continue to mourn. In their world, it was not often one out of a pair lived long after one was gone. It was a hardship he could not understand.

Balin opened the book in his hands and slowly thumbed through it. He finally came to the passage of Dis' confession. He read it out loud feeling the words drop from his mouth, heavy as the hardest stone. Once the last word was read he closed the book in the silent room.

What did they do? By their laws she should be executed. But was that fair punishment when one was raised to be insane?


	10. Kids will be Kids

It will be always safe to assume that children do not have the same social structure as adults. When presented with a long lost brother at such a young age it made one wonder; how did the sibling title work? Was it something you gave to someone? Was it something you were born to?

Fili and Kili had no idea. They didn't know what brothers did, it only made them feel closer. And when several days passed with nothing to do during the day but stay inside they would continue being friends just calling each other brothers. Eventually they ran out of things to do and they laid on the floor with a sweltering stint of boredom.

"I miss Ori." Fili sighed.

"I do too." Kili whined. "Hey, do you think he's our brother too?"

Fili thought about it still not understanding exactly what a brother was. He was barely able to grasp what a father was because all the effort Thorin put towards that. "I think we have to ask him first."

Kili rolled on the floor onto his stomach. "You think he wouldn't want to be our brother?"

"No. I think he has two brothers already and he never gets to see one. Remember, he said Nori doesn't come home a lot. He gets collared." He wrinkled his nose at the realization he had no idea what that meant.

"So?"

Fili sighed. "So, he won't get to see us a lot too. I don't think we should be mean brothers and get collared as well."

"I would never get collared!" Kili laid like a worm on the floor, such the extent of his boredom that he would not move. "And used to see Ori all the time. We just need to have him come over again."

That was true. They did get to see Ori almost every single day but now they didn't get to see him at all. Fili's eyes grew wide as something popped into his mind. "Do you think Ori got collared?"

Kili gasped, pushing himself off of the floor. "That would explain why he hasn't been over. We should go help him!"

Blond hair flared up as Fili shook his head, "No. No. Udâd said we have to stay inside."

"But this is Ori. We'll be careful, make sure no one sees us."

Fili bit his bottom lip. Thorin told them that they needed to stay inside no matter what, but Kili was right, if Ori was in trouble then they should help him. He looked to Kili then nodded. They scrambled to put on their boots and pulled on their coats. Kili creaked open the door a little, looking outside at the empty streets. He waved to Fili before they slipped out of the house. They snuck past the hut next to the one their's, the sound of something breaking caused them to pause. They hurried to the other side of the hut, going around the corner and pressing their backs to the wall. They heard Toffle yell about how she had just told someone to be careful. There was sounds of glass being picked up then the door to the front opened as she stormed out with a huff stuffing her rubbish into some basket to be taken care of later.

"Ow!" Came from inside.

The woman sighed, hefting her pregnant belly with indignation and patting it. "By Mahal, please don't end up like your sisters little one." She prayed before going back inside with a shout. "I just told you!"

Taking their chance the two brothers darted off, holding hands as they hurried on their quest to save Ori.

Their adventure was short lived when they realised, they had no idea where Ori lived. So they did the next best thing and went to places that they had seen him before. They pulled up their hoods when it started to rain, still hand in hand they went from their old home to one of the fields to the west where they knew Ori would take time to go and sketch things when he wanted to be alone. They tried the old tavern where Ori took them once to get scones, the tavern keeper knew him well. He wasn't there either.

They looked towards the market place. They would definitely get into trouble if they went there. The forge was there and Thorin would surely see them.

Fili's head twitched. He pushed off his hood, the sound of the rain drumming on the material was dulling his sense of hearing. He tilted his head, ear up in the air as he waited for what he heard to happen again. There it was. A scream. It sobbed and yelled and all of it in Ori's voice.

He broke into a dead run, Kili following close behind. He rushed into the marketplace having to stop and listen for Ori once more. There was a man's voice with Ori's, someone Fili had never heard before.

"Enough already!"

Fili shoved passed a few dwarrow and dodged around the long legs of the humans. A heat started to bleed through his mind. It pushed everything into a haze making thought hard to understand and instinct more lingual.

He stopped when he saw some strange male with three spikes to his hair pulling Ori along by his wrist. Ori's face was streaked with tears and snot ran down his nose as he just blubbered and shouted, "No! No!"

Fili shifted his shoulders, hunching down, eyes narrowing on the dwarf. He bent his legs and leapt forward. His shoulder slammed into the adult's side with enough force to toss him to the ground. The tip of Fili's fingers were like claws as he batted at the man tearing at his thick coat.

Ori grabbed onto Fili's coat and screamed again pulling at the blond, "No! Leave Nori alone!"

Fili halted, the heat in his mind subsiding a little as he panted. He looked at the dwarf under him, he was almost half his size yet he was pinned with tears in his clothing. There was shock and possibly fear in those eyes that looked at him around a raised arm that bore the slashes of claws.

He was grabbed harder and pulled off of Nori. His back hit the growing mud forcing him to look up at the gray sky. The rain felt good on his hot face.

"Nori are you okay?"

Fili sat up seeing Ori try to help the man up, the same one that made him cry so badly just a moment ago.

"What were you doing?!" Ori yelled at Fili while Nori tried to smear mud off of him.

"But he was hurting you!" Kili barked as he helped Fili up.

Ori stamped his foot when his mind would not grasp a proper reply. Nori had just come home after being gone for so long again, they were out spending time and Ori wanted another quill and book but Nori wouldn't buy it for him. He was throwing a fit, not being hurt. "No!" was all he could come up with to say to Kili. He was so angry, so upset with everything, for not getting his quill and book, for Nori getting attacked. He was even upset that he had not seen Fili and Kili in so long only to have them do this. So he said something he didn't mean. "Go away! You hurt my brother, I don't want to see you again!"

When they didn't move he shouted louder, "Go away!"

"What is going on here?"

Fili and Kili froze. Oh they were in big trouble. They turned slowly, looking up at the tall dwarf behind them. The cold blue glare of Thorin bore down on them.

"U-uncle Thorin." Kili whispered, grabbing Fili's hand and squeezing it. He could already feel the sting on his butt from the paddling he was certain he was going to be getting.

"Udâd." Fili pointed at Nori. "He was making Ori cry and-"

Thorin pointed down the way where his forge sat. His lip curled, he was so close to foaming at the mouth from the anger he felt right then. "Get to the forge. bNow/b!"

The two scrambled quickly not wanting to invoke any more anger from their guardian. Thorin looked to Nori and Ori, he folded his arms over his chest. "I didn't mean just them Nori."

Nori nearly spat in frustration. He picked up Ori and set him on his hip, he not so happily went to the forge, Thorin barking at the people that stood around to watch.

When Thorin got back to the forge he did indeed bend Kili over his knee and paddled his behind and did the same to Fili. Once on their feet again the rubbed their sore butts, lips pushed out in pouts as they tried not to cry over the pain.

"What were you thinking?!" Thorin yelled at them both. "I told you to stay home!"

"B-but... we..." Kili choked on a cry. He didn't like being yelled at especially after being spanked. He sniffled as tears ran down his face. "We haven't seen Ori in so long so we thought he was collared."

Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose. "Where did you hear that term?"

"O-Ori." Kili wiped at his nose with his sleeve.

The king shot a glare over to Nori who glared back. "Don't blame me for what Ori tells people. I can't control his mouth when I'm on a job."

"Your job is gathering information not other people's things!" Thorin snarled.

"I've gotta feed them somehow! I don't mind being behind bars as long as Dori and Ori get to eat! You of all people should know that! Or do I have to bring up what you had to do to make sure Dis had food when she was with child?"

"Don't mention that woman again." Thorin grumbled. He looked down to Fili and Kili. "Why would you think Ori was in trouble?"

"We just wanted to make sure he was okay..." Fili said quietly, wrapping his arms around Kili. He always took his punishments much easier than Kili did. "We had not seen him in so long... We thought something might have happened."

Nori looked at Ori who had calmed down from his previous rage. The little boy squirmed, pulling at the knitting of his gloves with a large frown on his face. Nori rolled his eyes and put his brother onto the ground. "Well go on then." He pushed Ori forward.

"But..." He looked up, dark eyes looking at the cuts in Nori's clothes.

Nori only shook his head. Something that told the little redhead to forget about it. Ori looked to Fili and Kili. He nearly ripped his gloves apart as he stammered out an apology. "S-sorry... I-I d-d... don't want you to go away."

"Really?" Fili asked softly.

Ori nodded, coming a little closer. Kili suddenly grabbed Ori and pulled him close. All three of the children hugged each other, Ori still apologizing softly in their little circle.

Nori then looked up at Thorin and hooked a finger through one of the tears in his clothes. "You owe me."

Thorin pulled Nori to the side so the children would not hear. "You breathe a word of this to anyone and I'll make you disappear." He threatened.

"Have some faith in me, you know me better than that." He shook his wrist free from Thorin's grip. "Dori's right, you've become more intense. What's happened while I was locked up? But more importantly how can a kid slice up leather like he did to my coat?"


	11. Struck Deals

"We have a deal then?" Nori hushed while Thorin closed down the forge. With three children present he could do no more work unless he wanted to risk their rambunctious antics.

Thorin nodded. "Yes. As long as you keep yourself quiet about Fili I shall take care of Dori and Ori."

"And?" Nori's eyes narrowed, he wanted the king to finish.

"You will gain the same privileges as Bofur, same deal."

The thief nodded with a pleased look. "I won't let you forget it."

Thorin took off his leather apron and put it up on a hook. "It is time for you to have faith in me now. I keep my word, in which you have."

Nori looked down at his little brother who was in the middle of looking at Fili's hand trying to understand why his nails looked funny. He was surprised he was taking this so well. Fili, a skin walker, a shapeshifter. In his travels from home he had heard of only a few, men said they were cursed, elves never spoke of them, and a wondering gray wizard said it was a very old magic that could be either a blessing or a curse. He had liked the wizard, he was a gentle bloke that had a smile that could charm the silver off of someone's quick tongue. In fact that very wizard was someone he could prod for more information. He had just struck a deal of his life time. A king to guarantee food and shelter to his brothers and when they could buy the whole of the Blue Mountains and make Ered Luin into more than just a settlement but an actual home then him and his family would be sitting pretty with the ownership of land and a proper place to live, not some ramshackle of a shed. All he had to do was help Thorin learn how to teach Fili how to keep his abilities under control.

A hand clasped him on the shoulder. He folded his arms, "Would you believe that I've seen far worse things?"

Thorin was quiet, thankful that Nori was answering his unspoken question. Nori really was taking this quite well. It had unnerved him a little but Nori was a strange one that even in dwarven terms held the oddest stories of experience.

"Turning into a cat is nothing compared to a goblin giving birth." He wrinkled his nose. "And even then, there are worse things to witness. Far darker things."

"I will never ask you to regail that story, rest assured of that." Thorin offered a tiny smile that showed more in his eyes than his lips. "But your ease in accepting this situation is... welcomed."

"Ori get your fingers out of his mouth." Nori nearly snapped when Ori was pushing back Fili's lips to see if his teeth were any different. He sighed when Ori looked at him and keeping their gazes locked very definitely shoved two fingers into Fili's mouth causing Kili to laugh and Fili to jerk his head, still like an animal not liking his tongue touched.

"Enough, leave Fili alone. Fili put your hands in your pockets, Kili stay close, we're going home." Thorin ordered as he pulled his cloak on.

"NO!" Fili and Kili cried suddenly grabbing onto Ori.

"We just got our brother back." Fili nearly whined. His bottom lip pushed out into a pout that he had no doubt learned from watching Kili.

"Yeah! Can we stay with Ori?" Kili asked, still a little meek after have been spanked earlier.

"Brother?" Thorin raised a brow.

"He's our brother." Kili insisted while Fili just rubbed his face against Ori's, picking up Ori like a cat with a kitten.

The king sighed, he would need to explain how family structures worked at some point. Right at the moment he felt a bit ragged from the strain of having to explain to someone of Fili's "condition". If he was honest with himself he had been prepared to kill Nori if the dwarf showed any sign of breaking the confidence he placed in him. The thought of it twisted his stomach but he would do anything to protect the children... even if it meant murder and he hated that thought. It made him feel ashamed and sick that he would even contemplate such a cold act. Especially against someone he had known since their settlement had started to build over twenty years ago.

Because of his dark thoughts Thorin had come to a decision that he would talk with Balin as to what to do with. The stress of leaving the children, the possibility of Dis finding them... it was driving him mad and he would not have himself hurt a good friend over paranoia.

"Buy you a meal if you pay to replace my jacket and bracers." Nori offered his voice cutting through Thorin's thoughts.

"Fair enough." Thorin nodded. "Best to let the children interact for a while."

After that day Thorin made sure that the children were not left alone. He did have a good heated conversations with Toffle and Bombur as he had entrusted them to watch over Fili and Kili during the day only to have Bombur leave quickly for work and Toffle neglect the boys when her own started their own version of a revolution. Thorin shouldered the blame, knowing he should have gotten someone more reliable considering Toffle with so many children already and Bombur who was on a rocky job that called either laid him off at a moment's notice or called to work harder than ever. It was discussed and decided that even though it pushed back their plans of purchasing the whole of the Blue Mountains Bofur and Thorin decided it would be best to bring Dori into the circle and inform him of the rules of keeping Dis in the dark as to where their little family was living.

It was a good arrangement. It lasted them into the summer of the next year, making sure that the curious kids got to have more interaction with Ori, who they insisted was their little brother still, and somewhat get along with some of Bombur's children though fists have been exchanged by Kili and Ori when a few called Fili a coward because he would not wrestle or act out on more violent activities. When they would get out of their skirmishes they didn't care if they got yelled at or even spanked. They would find Fili and hug him close. Kili would pet Fili's hair and tell him he was a good kitty. Ori would elaborate how stupid the other kids were for being mean to Fili because Fili was just doing what his daddy told him. The blond was under strict instructions to leave a fight behind by Thorin. He was never allowed to fight, not until his udâd was able to properly teach him how to control himself. But it was so hard to not growl and hiss when he could hear the fighting outside. He clawed the walls and shouted in rage until Kili and Ori were safe inside and he could make sure they were not hurt badly. That, of course, lead to Thorin having to tell Bofur about Fili's abilities. Bofur didn't come home for a week, when he did it was like nothing happened. He scooped up Fili and Kili. Encouraged them to play with his braids while Thorin eyed him warily. Bofur explained that it was a scary thought, but Fili was still just a lad. He had a good heart, and that's all that mattered.

Then something horrible happened.

Their door was hammered on. The late afternoon sun drying up the late spring mud. Thorin opened the door to find a huffing Nori.

"What is it?" He demanded.

"Bifur," Nori huffed. "His caravan was attacked." He swallowed before coughing having run a good distance after his pony's heart gave out. "Get Bofur."

"Where is Bifur?"

"B-Bree."


	12. Traveling Fevers

Taking the little ones with him to Bree was a hard decision to make. There was no requirement for his family to even go. Bofur and Bombur were capable dwarves, they had packed efficiently and quickly pulling as much information from Nori as possible as they did. Bifur has been on his trading route not much more was known as Bifur was the only survivor, even that was not guaranteed.

It was when Nori went to fetch some ponies that Thorin looked down at his two little ones. He didn't know what to tell them. They had never met Bifur, they were upset mostly because Bofur and Bombur were. But something in their little faces made him do something he usually wouldn't. He took a risk with them. He packed up their bags, got two ponies, and joined Bofur and Bombur on the road.

Fili was not nearly as happy to be moved about the countryside as much as Kili was. The brunette took as much time as he could to be on his feet, running from field to forest, to creek. Anything new he touched seemingly amazed by the condition of the soil from one spot to the other, even more so with all the different plants. He would grab fistfuls of the strangest leafs, dug until his little fingers bled to fish out roots. Thorin had tried his best to keep the child from damaging himself, he had to scold him for bringing along useless grass every time they packed up camp and traveled for the day.

One day Bofur handed Kili a small satchel. "Here you go laddy, keep your things in this."

"You are not helping the situation." Thorin pressed his palm against Fili's head, the youth had been acting odd for the last couple of days. Not venturing far from Thorin's side even refusing to tag along with Kili as he usually did.

"He's a child, not even old enough to pick up an axe. It's good to encourage curiosity, keeps the mind sharp." The miner rubbed his hands together. It was obvious he was desperately trying to keep the worry at bay. He watched Kili run around, grabbing things and stuffing them into his new satchel. Bofur swallowed hard, a smile forced onto his lips. "I used to watch over Bifur's little girl, Mythur. She liked to collect stones. Said she could talk to 'em." His lower lip trembled, his eyes misting as his voice came distant, cracking under the hurt. "Was hopin' the lads would have g-gotten to meet the lass. Lovely thing she was, they would've liked her."

There was a heavy silence. Thorin reached over, his hand patting the back of Bofur's elbow in condolence. It seemed to be all the comfort the miner needed as he nodded several times, swallowing hard and moving back to his brother and Nori. That night Thorin didn't sleep. Bofur and Bombur's grief weighed heavily on him, it was palatable and brought back many memories of his grandfather, father... and of dear Frerin.

The next day they entered Westmarch, it was also the day Fili became upset over nearly everything. When he hate it was little, when he drank he complained, when he was picked up and placed on the pony he moaned his dislike. Kili could keep him silent for a few blessed hours, petting golden hair, whispering sweet things making the larger of the two boys lean against him heavily. Fili developed a raspy breath soon after and a fever that hurt his skin. It forced Thorin to find shelter as soon as he could. It was difficult as the nearest place was a small area called Hobbiton. He had never been there before, always having passed by it to the north in favor for a quicker passage to Bree. There he was not well greeted by the town's folk as hobbits prefered to stay by themselves and didn't like the intrusion of outside company. He was on his own as he had encouraged Bofur and Bombur to continue to Bree. He would meet with them there after Fili recovered.

From hobbit hole to hobbit hole he went, knocking on doors, or asking hobbits that were working outside for aid. All turned him away.

Fili whined in the heat of the summer sun, his fever starting to worsen. Thorin kissed the top of his son's head.

"Why aren't they helping us?" Kili asked. Even he knew, as small a child as he was, this was terrible behavior.

"Do not concern yourself with it." Thorin said. He closed his eyes for a moment, his mind silently pushing down the welling fear that was squirming in his stomach. Fili was only getting worse.

Eventually he met a tall human in gray clothes that brought him to a large hall that was barely tall enough for the human to stand in. He held Kili's hand and hugged Fili to his hip, his chin held high as he scrutinized this place.

So far his opinion of hobbits was of a low standing. Any dwarf and most humans when called to help an ill child would leap at the chance. They would be properly hospitable and do everything in their abilities to make sure the child recovered. Here, they scowled because there was a stranger. They turned their noses, shook their heads and left them out in the beating sun. One one was kind enough to offer them water but nothing more. Terrible things, these hobbits nothing at all like what Frerin had read in his studies.

"Gandalf." An old hobbit hobbled on his cane over to the human that looked just as old as he. The old hobbit reached up like a child forcing the human to bend down to share a hug. The hobbit laughed a soft sound, much akin to not seeing an old friend for a long time. "I wasn't expecting you for another fortnight! What brings you here so quickly?"

"Grave business I'm afraid Gerontius. May I introduce you to a new friend of mine, Thorin Oakenshield." Gandalf moved as best as he could to the side.

The hobbit looked to Thorin then the children. While he hobbled to the dwarf Gandalf continued to speak. "His child, Fili, has fallen ill during their travels and cannot go any further."

Gerontius held up a hand, "May I?"

Thorin hesitated before he nodded. The hold hobbit barely came up to his chest and his back was bent but he was did not seem hindered by either as he managed to reach up and slip his fingers into the thick mess of Fili's hair to feel the back of his neck. He frowned and rather rudely stuck his finger into Fili's mouth eliciting a weak protest and shake of the boy's head.

He took his finger to his nose and took a deep sniff, his wrinkled face pulled into a deep scowl. "Where did you come from?"

"The Blue Mountains." Thorin answered.

"South, north or directly across from here?"

"Somewhat north. Why?"

"You're boy has Rushock Bog Fever, or also called Bog Sickness. Your travels would not have taken you through there if you were on a good path." The hobbit scratched his sideburn in thought. "A list of reasons as long as my arm could be given as to why he contracted it, drinking bog water, bitten by the right bug, exposed to animal droppings from an animal that wandered out of the bog... but it is peculiar that a dwarf would have contracted it... Dwarven kind never get ill."

"Some of our young and elderly will." Thorin said softly as Fili gave a rattling cough while wrapping his little arms around Thorin's neck. "Do you have medicine that I may be able to purchase for him?"

"No." Gerontius said sadly. "There is no cure for Bog Sickness, he must fight it off." He then slammed his cane down a few times the loud tapping done more of him making a decision than to get anyone's attention. "Right! We'll find you a nice place to stay while he recovers, there is little we can do for the pain he suffers but what we have is yours. But it is best that your other sweetling is not exposed to the illness any farther. It is contagious and will become more so soon as the fever burns hotter. I'll have my daughter watch over him." He turned a little shouting down the hall with a set of lungs that Thorin was surprised he had. "Belladonna!"

"NO!" Kili shouted grabbing onto Thorin's leg.

"Kili I-" Thorin's words stuck in his throat as a pretty hobbit lass came into the room. Her hair was dark and flowing, face heart shaped, brown eyes starkly different from the blue dress she wore. If it wasn't for the hairy feet poking underneath her skirt he would have sworn she was of human noble birth. There was something so very strange about her.

"Master Oakenshield has a child with Bog Sickness, I need you and Bungo to watch over his other litten one." Gerontius motioned over to them with his cane.

"Of course." She smiled. It was a lot like Thorin's own mother's smile, it stirred something inside him that he wasn't quite comfortable with.

Each step she took towards them Thorin felt his heart beat a little harder. When she came up to them he took a step back, pulling Kili with him. She looked to him with something that made Thorin look away. He swallowed hard, his hand pressing Kili's head against his leg. She unnerved him. Why did she unnerve him?!

"It's alright," she said softly. She held out her hand like the human males do. "I'm Belladonna Took-Baggins."

Took? Thorin felt his heart skip a beat. He hadn't heard that in so long. Why did it give him hope?

He slowly took his hand from Kili and took hers into his. He squeezed gently only to have her give a rather crushing grip. She shook his hand with viger. "Master Oakenshield it's a pleasure to meet you."

"As you Madam Took-Baggins." He managed to push out.

"Pleasantries to the side, I imagine my father has a place well thought out for you and your son to stay." She let go of his hand. She tucked her skirts behind her knees as she squatted down to look at Kili. "And you'll be staying with me at Bag End sweetling. Your papa can visit a lot, it's just down the road."

"He's not my papa." Kili frowned. "And I'm not a sweetling! I'm a dwarf!"

"I'm his uncle." Thorin filled in.

Belladonna gave a nod as she frowned and touched her chin in thought. "Well, if you're a dwarf then flex your arm so I can feel your muscles, all dwarves have muscles."

Thorin couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips when Kili was egged out from behind his leg. The boy stood proud flexing his arms like he had seen Dwalin do a few times that he had visited. The hobbit lass reached out and made a rather big production of feeling Kili's nonexistent muscles. She fanned her face with her hand, "Oh my~, you're so big and strong! You definitely are a dwarf!" This instantly gained her Kili's favor as she gave him more compliments and he preened over every single one.

It relaxed Thorin a bit, especially when her words held true. They had taken Thorin to a little hut not far from Bag End. Its structure was temporary, even the straw stuffed mattress was badly stitched having been meant to be emptied and disposed of.

"I'm sorry that the conditions are not better." Belladonna said softly as she was stepped in after Thorin, her hand holding Kili's. "My husband, Bungo, and I were staying here while he finished up Bag End. We were going to take it all down in a week."

"As long as there is a roof over the children I cannot complain." Thorin said truthfully. He used one hand to adjust the mattress before laying Fili down. He was asleep, worn out from travel, heat, and sickness.

"We'll bring you some supplies and dinner and supper when it is done."

"Dinner and supper?" Kili asked after he was caught in trying to go to Fili's side.

Belladonna smiled, "Hobbits have many meals little dwarf and we need to make sure everyone stays strong and gets better. So I need all the help you can give me."

Kili gave a worried noise looking back at Fili. "I-if I help you will Fili get better?"

"Of course he will." The hobbit stroked Kili's back. "Now, lets go get those supplies."

Kili looked back several times before the door to the hut was shut, his eyes having a hard time leaving Fili's figure.

It was late that night when Gandalf came to visit, Belladonna and her husband were good folk, much better than the other hobbits in Hobbiton. Gandalf sat in a little chair looking much a giant as he looked over Fili. "His color is fading," he said softly.

"He worsens, his pains making it hard for him to sleep." Thorin stated as he refreshed the cold cloth he pressed to his son's forehead.

"Rushock Bog Fever is a terrible thing, will claim many lives in a year." Gandalf sighed. "But, if symptoms are treated and he drinks plenty of fluids he will pull through. I do believe... yes, yes, I do." Gandalf took up his travel bag and searched through it finding several leaves and roots that he handed Thorin. "These should help. Create a paste from the roots and put some under his tongue twice a day and it should help keep him from vomiting. Make a tea with the leaves and it should help reduce his pain."

"Where did you get these?" Thorin looked at the plants, he recognized some as things Kili picked up.

"In my travels. They are rare, it is wise to collect them when you come across them. I take you have seen them before."

Thorin didn't reply he only set about making a tea from the leaves. Fili was already making terrible noises that stabbed at his heart, every once in awhile his tiny voice would croak out, "It hurts."

"I owe you much." Thorin watched the kettle as it heated over the wood stove. "You have helped us without mention of payment. Tell me your price and you shall have it."

Gandalf smiled, his old eyes twinkling. "You do not remember do you?"

"Remember what?"

Gandalf leaned back pulling out his pipe and stuffing it. He lit it with the a small flame from the tip of his finger, taking in a long drag. He let the familiar soothing buzz of old toby wrap around him before letting out the smoke towards the cracked window.

"I remember a raven haired lad from a long time ago who had a little brother with golden hair the same as your son's. The raven was fiercely protective of his brother. Even kicked me in the shin when I dared to ask why he was practicing with a bow and not a sword. Called me a string of things a boy at that age had no business knowing what they were and proceeded to try to shove me in the dirt."

Thorin's attention snapped to Gandalf, his blue eyes narrowing at the old man. "That was you?"

Gandalf laughed, "Quite. I still recall I had to apologize to you and Frerin for my rather innocent question. The lad looks much like your brother. How is Frerin?"

Thorin looked away, his jaw tight, "He... died in battle many years ago along with my grandfather."

"I am sorry to hear that, Thror was a good king. Frerin was a good sort as well. Smart too. Gave him a book once that even I couldn't read." Gandalf sighed wistfully the pipe tip to his bottom lip. "As for your question before, of stating a payment I require nothing but the boy to get better. He's a special one."

The king pressed his lips together, tight, as he ran through his brain trying to remember everything this man was. He had vague memories that he had forgotten up until then. If he remembered correctly he had indeed tried his damndest when he was only twenty to beat up Gandalf, barely able to lift up a practice hammer and he was trying to take down a grown human who imight/i have the idea to insult Frerin. He remembered seeing him with his grandfather, and his father. Then a recent memory hit, Gandalf's finger being bright for a moment while Thorin was busy.

"You... are a wizard, correct?"

"Yes."

Thorin steeled himself. "I must request something of you then."

"What is that?"

"Tell me about those who can change their form."

Gandalf frowned, "Skin changers? Unusual request that I do not feel obliged to fill. I am sorry."

"It's important!" Thorin barely kept himself from screaming. "I..." He took a deep breath. "I must know everything I can. It is of the utmost importance, you must believe me."

The wizard leaned forward, his eyes searching over Thorin's for any sort of deceit that might be given. When he saw nothing but honesty and truth he leaned back. "Before I do... I must ask you for a favor."

"What sort?"

"My travels have taken me far and wide upon Middle-Earth, and I regret not being there when Smaug the Terrible descended upon your home. I had tried to come to your aid but was much too far away. The favor I must ask of you; When the time comes, you must try to reclaim Erebor and I must be with you in your quest."

Thorin felt his throat constrict. Something about this made it feel as if he was making a deal with the devil. He had little choice though. Fili needed to control himself to be safe. If he changed again he would be treated like a dangerous animal and hunted. Even though Thorin would give his life for his son, it did not guarantee that Fili would live after Thorin had perished at the end of someone's sword while protecting the boy.

"Very well. You have my word."


	13. Come Morning Light

The days pulled on and Fili's fever only got worse. Thorin couldn't get his son to keep broth down, all of the herbs that Gandalf gave him and what he pulled from Kili's satchel had been used up. He tried wetting his head and covering him in blankets but he still burned with a sickness that made all the healers shake their heads and look away. Even Gandalf.

Thorin resorted to holding his little boy, singing songs of comfort as he shook in his arms. Fili was feather light, he smelled of a terrible sour tart scent that Thorin had only smelled a few times before in his life when someone died of a sickness. Then, one day, Fili didn't wake up. He was breathing, his heart beating, but he would not wake.

The proud King Under the Mountain choked on a cry. He brushed seat soaked locks out of Fili's face. All the songs he sang gave no comfort, all the water on that hot brow did nothing. The herbs were gone. He had nothing left. So he resorted to one last thing.

He begged.

"Please," his voice was humbled, quiet and small. He took Fili's hand into his own. "Please, Frerin... I don't know what to do... You always knew what to do, please tell me how to-" his voice cracked, a sob dropping from his lips. "I can't do it." He blinked rapidly looking up at the ceiling as if he could feel the sky outside. "I can't..."

He reached over stroking Fili's face, his chin quivering. He wasn't a king here. He was no mighty warrior. He was a father, one that didn't want to let go.

Large tears rolled down his cheeks as he finally came to the thought that if Fili did not wake in the morning, he would be stiff like clay. His thoughts pulled to his brother, "Take care of him for me... until I can be with you both."

He took in a shuddering breath, letting the tears fall as he continued to pet his son's face. There, he stayed, the ticking of light rain falling onto the small hut. Even the rain sounded like someone was crying. So soft, so sad.

It was late at night, the rain still drumming softly down, when Fili woke. He tried smelling the air but all he could get was a thick pressure in his head that caused a cough followed by a dry heave. He padded his hand on the bed finding the soft hair of his father. With little energy he rolled over, gripping hard onto Thorin's hair. He was going to miss this hair… miss his papa's face that scratched his with his beard. He was going to miss Kili more, his smile and laugh, even his temper tantrums.

He didn't want to go, even though he had the feeling he had to.

Hands came around him from behind and he was being picked up. He clung onto Thorin's hair. He didn't want to go! He wanted to stay!

"No." He weakly protested.

"Shh, it's okay." A large hand came down uncurling his fingers. "Let him sleep." That hand then went to Thorin's cheek, caressing the red streaks that was evidence of how long Thorin had cried his grief. Fingers stroked Thorin's hair out of his face. "See, your udâd is tired, he's been caring for you for a while now and needs some rest. So, I'll care for you in his stead."

Fili looked up at who was holding him, his hair just as blond and wild as Fili's. He had such pretty eyes, brown and warm. "Who are you?"

"Someone that loves you, Kili, and Thorin very much." He stood up fully, adjusting Fili. He felt at home with him. Fili rested his head on that chest, it felt so nice, almost like a mother's breast. The man's free hand went through Fili's hair feeling the heat. "We need to get your fever down my lad."

The stranger took Fili outside, fog casting an ethereal mask upon the world. The rain felt like rocks hitting him from how hot the child burned. Fili pressed his face against the man's chest making a string of uncomfortable noises. If it was another time and his fever was not so bad he may have noticed some things about him, how he resembled Thorin. How he was slightly transparent in a strange way that made him solid yet an illusion all together. He may have also noticed his ability to smell and how Fili found that he smelled nice, like freshly tilled soil, it reminded him a lot of Kili but there was something else to his smell, something… different.

"Is Thorin a good papa?" He asked Fili.

He nodded. "Mm hmm. But he's really sad at times... it gets hard to make him smile."

A cheek was pressed to the top of Fili's head. "He has gone through a lot, and he will go through more, but do your best to stay with him little one."

"Okay."

The man took him to a little creek where he stepped in, holding Fili tight as he waded until the water was up to Fili's chest. The boy screamed from how the cold of the water hurt his fevered body.

"Shhh, shhh, easy yourself. I have you." A wet had went over Fili's hair in soothing strokes. He waited until most of the screams ended, dulling down into pained whimpers. "Why don't you ask me some questions?"

The distraction was welcomed, though hard to fulfill. Every possible question that came to him quickly fled in the wake of the discomfort of his body. Finally he pushed out, "What's your name?"

"I have a few names… like you do."

"What do you mean? I'm Fili."

He smiled at Fili knowing so much more than the boy. "I was called Frerin." He ran his hand through Fili's hair feeling that accursed heat dying away. "But when we meet again you'll find I will have a different name."

"You'll be different?"

"Yes, but I'll love you still my little lad." He kissed Fili's head like a devoted mother. Such sweetness to it, such love and compassion.

He adjusted Fili and left the water taking him back to the house. The sad rain still drumming against the windows. Frerin took Fili back to his bed and laid him down. The youth kept his arms wrapped around Frerin's neck not wanting to let go. Frerin smiled and kissed Fili's head again earning an animalistic purr. He was already feeling better and this new person was a very good person. Like his very own mama.

Frerin pulled Fili's arms from around his neck, sitting on the bed. "I'll stay until you wake."

"But I am awake."

Frerin smiled again. He quickly changed the subject, "When Thorin wakes tell him I'm still with him, I'll be with all of you, forever."

His hand found its way over to Thorin's head, gently picking up some locks of hair. He parted two sections that he started to work an intricate fishtail braid. He started to hum a long lost melody that lulled Fili's eyes closed much too soon. "Remember to tell Thorin that I love him," was the last thing Fili heard.

When Fili awoke his fever had broke. Thorin's hands were on his face checking over and over again for any inkling of heat. He smiled at his son, relief washing over him. Fili's hand reached up and grabbed some of his hair and tugged at it.

"F-" he gave a small cough. "Frerin said, he said that he's still with you." Fili tugged on the braid again when his father's eyes only got wide. "He said he'll always be with us."

"F… Frerin… you met someone named Frerin in your dreams?" Thorin swallowed hard. He had never told Fili of his brother.

Fili nodded, for having just woken up he felt so tired. "He took care of me while you were resting."

Thorin didn't know what to say. In his core he felt the shivering fear of his son being so close to death that Frerin had been there. But looking at the braid that Fili clutched he felt his heart flutter with mixed emotions. Frerin used that particular braid as a message, a simple "everything will be okay" message. Fili was too young to braid just yet and…

Thorin just closed his eyes. He didn't know how, didn't truly want to know. Right then, he had his son on the mend and he had many prayers of thanks to offer his loving brother.

"He-he said he loves you." Fili coughed whining afterwards. He reached up, grabbing at Thorin for a hug. He really needed on considering he felt so icky and terrible.

Thorin hugged Fili tightly. He buried his face into Fili's shoulder. It took a while but he found his voice. "If you... if you dream of him again, tell him I love him as well."


	14. Of the Brothers Ur

The human doctor had done all that he could. The dwarf upon his cot was unresponsive but he he still breathed and every once in awhile he would make a pained sound. The doctor spilled some more tonic against the orc axe embedded in the forehead working to soften the scab so he could treat the wound properly without reopening it.

"Excuse me, excuse me!" a voice huffed.

The doctor looked up from his patient to the two short figures standing in front of the small room's opening, a thin curtain pulled to the side. A round ginger dwarf and a thin brunette stayed at the entrance, having the wild looks in their eyes of the deep want to rush inside. The man sighed, he knew the look of family. It wasn't the color of hair or the shape of the face that dictated it to him, it was the distraught expressions, the pain in the voices that always greeted him day in and day out.

He took a rag from the side and wiped at his hands as he approached the dwarves. "Hail, master dwarves." He said in an alto voice. His well trimmed dark hair and beard set him apart from most in Bree as he cared for his personal appearance and by the condition of the run down wooden cabin he had to work in he had tried to keep it as clean as possible, which was probably the only reason why Bifur had not contracted an infection yet.

"Master Nori told me that he would send for Master Bifur's family. Are you them?"

"Yes, I am Bombur, this is my brother Bofur, we're his cousins." Bombur swallowed hard, his fat hands shaking a little. "We… we're the last he has."

The doctor nodded. He motioned for them out of the room, their sad, hesitant feet following him after they shared a second look back to the sleeping figure in the cot. He brought them to another room where there were second hand sofas and a few beaten chairs, all as clean as the doctor could make it. He went to the hearth, taking the iron kettle there and setting it over the flames as he set about making tea in an old cracked teapot that looked like it could barely hold air let alone water.

"W...what do we owe you?" Bofur asked, his tiny voice sounding much too loud in the quiet room.

"We shall discuss that at another time." He looked into the flames, his hands clasped behind his back. "I would like to first talk to you about your cousin's condition."

"Will he survive?" Bombur asked his hands on his queasy belly.

"It is hard to say. He needs time. If he wakes up then I believe he will."

"How much time?"

"Pardon?"

"How much time do you think he needs to wake up?"

"To be honest, he would be blessed to wake up within the next month. But I will need help in his care as I do have other patients that come and go."

"We can do that."

The doctor nodded taking the kettle away from the fire and pouring the water into the pot. As the tea brewed he simply stated, "I have a spare room that you may stay in. I would prefer him to stay within the confines of my home as his condition either digresses or improves."

"He'll improve, you'll see." Bofur was crushing his hat in his hands.

"In normal circumstances I would agree fully with you Master Bofur." The doctor poured the tea into mugs and handed one to each dwarf. "Unfortunately the grievance between his injury and his heart may prove difficult to him. Losing family, especially children and lovers can be the death of any man, dwarf or elf. To lose all at once…"

He trailed off, he didn't need to finish. Bifur may have lost the will to live after seeing his family slaughtered. His injury alone may never let him wake up, let alone his heart.

"As for payment," the doctor took a seat. He ran a hand over his head and rubbed the back of his neck. He very much tired, he needed a good night's rest.

"We don't have much money," Bofur nearly stammered. "But what we have it's yours."

The doctor fixed him with a calculating gaze. "Tell me, what are your professions?"

"I mine."

Bombur leaned forward after taking a sip of his calming tea. "I do woodwork."

The human nodded. "Give me the money for room and board, the rest you can pay off by doing repairs. I have a leaky roof, a few animals living under this building, several drafts and some furniture that needs tending."

The brothers shared a look. That much work with that much money… it was a lot for payment. Though, how his words came it sounded reasonable. There was little choice in the matter for them other than what the doctor dictated. They both nodded.

"Until Bifur is better, we're at your service." Bofur and Bombur stood up to give a proper bow.

* * *

A week later Nori was smoking his pipe, sitting on a crate outside the Prancing Pony. Bombur and Bofur had been working like slaves to that doctor. Bofur managed to get a small side job doing little things for a toy shop to earn enough money to supply Bombur for wood and furniture. Nori even got a few odd jobs to help them out, though he was worrying about Thorin and the little ones. Fili had been looking rather ill when they had left their company.

He looked up at the sky, the clouds moving rather fast. It would be a clear night for them. He drew in a long breath of the smoke, blowing it out slowly. He was thankful that Ori never got sick, out of the three brothers it was Nori, himself that had gotten ill as a child. Almost cost him his life. It was a terrible sickness that he never wanted to see anyone go through again. Him and another child, his best friend Floki had gotten it. While he survived… Floki didn't. His insides turned to liquid and vomited out right before his eyes. It was a terrible memory.

"Nori! Udâd, Udâd, it's Nori."

The thief looked down the road spotting Thorin, his hand holding Fili's and the small blond holding onto Kili's. Beside him were two hobbits that looked, by their clothing as hobbits had a tendency to match clothing patterns with their mates, to be married. Thorin looked up from his son to Nori who gave a small wave as if to acknowledge that it was indeed him and not some imposter.

"Then go and greet him, but do not run." Thorin let go of Fili's hand letting the children go faster than him.

Nori smiled as Kili was torn between speed walking and running like a unbridled pony. Fili was only a little bit faster than Thorin, still looking a bit pale on his lips. Nori tapped out his pipe and stepped on the embers. He pocketed his pipe as he came up to the children, arms out. He crouched down and they hugged him, glad to see a familiar face on their first journey.

"How are feeling Fili?" Nori knelt, his palms rubbing of Fili and Kili's backs.

"I'm doing well. Thank you." He wrapped his arms around Kili, pulling him into a hug. "They didn't let us see anyone for a while."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"I could have gotten Kili sick. I didn't want to get him sick."

Kili made a miserable sound as he pushed his face into his brother's shoulder. The two clung onto each other as if confronted with bad news of the worst kind.

"Well, you're better now." Nori smiled.

"How is Bifur?" Thorin came up to them.

The auburn dwarf gave a sigh. He stood up and patted the children's heads. "Well some days, not well others. Once he woke from his sleeping state but slipped back."

"I see… Where is Bofur and Bombur now?"

"Caring for Bifur." He held up a hand before Thorin could ask. "They can explain."

The king nodded slowly. He then pulled out a small coin purse and handed it to Nori. "Please take the children to get a decent meal."

Nori jerked his thumb to the building he was next to. "Prancing Pony, best slop for a growing dwarf. It'll put hair on your chest, and your toes, and maybe even your palms."

Thorin only frowned at the thief who seemed impassive about it all and took Fili and Kili around the side of the building.

"Interesting company you keep." Bungo slipped his fingers into his jacket.

"I must agree with you Master Baggins." Thorin turned to Belladonna and Bungo. "I want to thank you again for your care and for accompanying us here."

"Not at all." Bungo smiled and shook Thorin's hand with a tight grip. "It has been a pleasure knowing you and your lads. They're going to grow up to be fine strapping men."

The king smiled a bit. "Thank you."

"Just remember, if you ever need to come this way again you're always welcome to stay at Bag End." Belladonna took Thorin's hand and shook it before she quickly let go and cleared her throat. "Forgive me." She properly curtsied only causing Bungo to laugh.

"You are getting better at remembering to curtsy my dear." The hobbit looked quite happy with his wife.

"Well I have to say young Kili certainly knows a lot about how a lady is to properly present herself. His mother must be quite the woman."

Thorin had to keep himself from clenching his jaw. "She was. Very much so."

"I'm sorry, forgive me, I was not aware she was gone."

The dwarf just waved his hand dismissively. "Do not worry yourself. As for your invitation to stay at Bag End, I very much appreciate it. If you are ever in need, please, send word to the Blue Mountains, Ered Luin, and I will come to your aid."

"Thank you very much." Bungo shook Thorin's hand once more. "Stay well, stay safe."

"May Mahal's hammer shield you."

He stood there, Belladonna giving one last curtsy before taking her husband's arm and walking off into the markets of Bree where they planned on some shopping then catching a caravan back to the Shire. He felt his heart yank in the direction of the hobbits. He took a step to follow them, something deep inside of him upset that he was letting them be so far from him. He closed his eyes.

He didn't know what was wrong with him. This whole time he had such a hard time being away from Belladonna and Bungo. It was not that their images haunted him, nor their voices plagued him. They just seemed… different, from all the other beings around him. The only similarity he had towards that feeling was with Fili and Kili and even then it was not quite the same. So different, so strange, it was an attachment that was unwarranted. An anticipation of something to come be it bad or good and there was that terrible fear inside of him that he would never know what the reason was.


	15. Little Secrets

"You need what now?" Bombur looked at Thorin with surprise.

"Wooden weapons for the boys." The king said once more.

"Aren't they a little young to be practicing how to fight? They've yet to learn all the names of the trades of dwarves let alone choose one to be interested in." The rotund dwarf folded his arms over his chest with a disappointed look. As a father, he knew when a child was strong enough to start learning to fight, and that was always after they picked a trade. They had to grow more into their bodies before they could properly learn how to wield a weapon.

Nori cut in before Thorin had a chance to reply. "Bombur, they are princes, they must learn early the consequences of fighting and before we go back to Ered Luin, in which I am certain you would approve of, they need to learn what fights to stand their ground in and others to walk away."

Bombur shook his head, "Very well. But remember to not push them too hard, they are small children after all."

Thorin nodded, turned on his heel and walked away, Nori trailing after him. They went back to the Prancing Pony, up to the room they shared with Fili and Kili where the two boys still slept in a pile of limbs. Yesterday they had ran all over Bree taking in all the strange and wondrous sights of what a "big village" was like. They had stayed up late listening to stories that Nori was fond of telling Ori, their eyes huge as they listened to everything he was saying. It wasn't until the first rays of dawn that the little ones finally fell asleep. It freed the adults to do a few things without having to reign in the children who grew more energetic by the passing hour.

The king took off his coat and draped it over the back of a rickety wooden chair. He had learned a lot about shapeshifters from Gandalf. His deal still held with Nori as the thief would help him train Fili into controlling himself. They had to start as soon as they could, if not it would be harder on Fili to keep his animal side under control. So they sat around the small table in the room and developed a plan. They would wait for Bombur to finish the weapons, take the boys back to Ered Luin by foot and take their time traveling. The secluded roads would be their route as they needed to push the little blond to his limits, make him change again and again, and they could not risk anyone seeing.

It only took a few days for Bombur to finish some wooden swords and axes, great craftsmanship that Thorin had no qualms with paying a little extra knowing full well these would last a great long time and the hard abuse that was required of dwarven training. While they gathered the rest of the things they needed for their travels back Bofur looked after Fili and Kili at the doctor's residence.

"I wonder how much the axe hurt." Kili whispered looking at Bifur's sleeping form.

"It's in his head. It would have hurt a lot." Fili said as if that was the dumbest question he had ever heard.

Kili reached over fingers about to touch the protruding axe when Bofur found them. "Ah! Don't touch that laddy!"

Bofur instantly picked up Kili pulling him away from his cousin. "You don't want to be hurtin' him any more now do ya?"

"No." Kili looked up at Bofur much looking like a puppy being held. "How come he's not awake? It's in the middle of the day."

"Because he needs his rest. Don't worry, he'll wake up soon enough and you'll get to meet him proper like."

The boy looked back watching Fili play with Bifur's beard. It was very long and so well taken care of for someone asleep all the time. Kili put his arms straight up slipping down out of Bifur's hold to run off with Fili leaving the injured dwarf alone. Bofur looked to his cousin then to the floor, his heart heavy. He wasn't sure if Bifur would ever wake up. If he did, would he be the same? He knew the old Bifur would have loved being around the little ones. He would have picked them up and spun them around, got them to laugh at every chance. Taught them new games and made them toys.

He sighed wandering off to find the boys. He had to keep up hope. It was all they had for Bifur at this point. As he walked away, Bifur's eyes started to flutter open.

At this time Fili and Kili had managed to find every room, poke at everything within reach and even managed to hide a good few things in fun. Then Fili started sneezing. A lot of sneezing.

"No, no, no." Kili fussed wiping Fili's nose with his sleeve. Worry in his young heart. "Don't get sick again."

"I'm okay." Fili sneezed hard enough for his head to start to hurt. "I-i-it's just a bad smell."

"A bad smell?" Kili looked around as if he could see what was causing his lion to suffer.

Fili sniffed, again he sneezed this time snot coming out to hang on his lip. He wiped it away before Kili could and pointed at a small door that was built into the floor. "It's coming from in there."

Kili went to the cellar door. He grabbed the iron ring and pulled on it as hard as he could as he stood on the door. "It's not opening."

"What are you lads doin' now?" Bofur came in as Kili continued to jerk at the iron ring making frustrated shouts.

"There's -ah- a bad smell -open!" Kili let go of the ring and stomped on the cellar door.

"A bad smell?"

"It's making Fili sick." Kili tried pulling at the ring again as Fili gave another great sneeze that sounded more like an explosion than a simple sneeze. "I won't let him get sick again!"

"Alright, alright." Bofur moved Kili to the side.

He opened the door easily. The miner had to grab the back of Kili's tunic to stop the child from running down the wooden steps. He pulled the boy up and onto his hip, going down to the dark space under the house. He swallowed hard. Bunches of pants that hung upside down from underneath the floorboards above them. There were racks of the bundles. At first glance they were like any other plant a doctor would keep for his medicines but the leaves were not good. The doctor, it would seem, dealt in poisons and toxins. Every plant in this small secret room was deadly.

Kili gave a terrible sound in the back of his throat as he hugged Bofur's neck. He buried his face into the dwarf's shoulder not wanting to look. Something in him shook with fear as he snuck a peek.

"Bad plants." Kili whispered.

Bofur held the boy tight. "Aye lad. Very bad plants."

The miner turned and ran up the stairs. He dropped the cellar door shut, the clap of the wood going down was quickly followed by a scream. Bofur's heart stopped. Their "good" doctor had a fistful of Fili's hair. Bofur dropped Kili to the floor and held up a hand as the doctor pulled out a knife.

"Fili!" Kili tried to get around Bofur who kept him back.

"Now, don't be doin' anything foolish." Bofur moved Kili behind his leg. "He's just a boy."

"A prince." He jerked Fili's head back making the boy scream. He pressed the blade harder into the exposed neck, the soft flesh pushing around the metal ready to split open at any movement. "That can be worth a lot of money. Don't you think? A lot more than keeping your cousin under, though, I have to admit, the free service of dwarves is quite the luxury."

"How did-"

"Your fool companions need to keep their tongues quieter when making requests. You never know who may be listening even in empty alleys."

"Why are you doing this? We have no money."

The human barked in laughter. "I'm no fool! Dwarves always have money, more than they know what to do with! You hide it away and need some coaxing to part with it. There are two princes if I'm not mistaken. I can take care of one with a spare to bargain with." His wicked gaze fell on Fili before flickering over to Kili with promise that neither would live if he had his way.

Fili shouted, he thrashed against the man. The boy's elbow smacked into a tender part just to the side of his knee making him loosen his grip a bit. The knife bit into Fili's skin, pulling across his neck. Kili screamed at the sight of red spilling from Fili. Bofur grabbed the knife he had tucked in his belt and charged at the doctor, a guttural roar of rage. The golden prince was tossed to the side in favor for blocking the incoming attack.

"Fili!" Kili ran to his brother, wrapping his tiny hands around the bleeding wound.

Bofur threw a punch, the doctor dodging it right to where the miner thrust the knife in his other hand stabbing him in the shoulder. The doctor took his own knife up high to bring it stabbing down on Bofur's head when something struck him from behind. It hit so hard it cracked his skull, crumpling him to the floor instantly. Bofur's eyes were wide as he watched in shock, Bifur awake, eyes wild as he took the heavy base of a candle holder and struck again and again down on the head of the human. The cracking of bone gave way to the sounds of wet tissue being beat only masked by the sounds of Kili crying.


End file.
